This is something that most modern men lack, simply because it takes time to develop both qualities. Some quit along the way; others never even bother developing either. They would rather just boost their testosterone levels, which isn’t a real challenge, and pretend to be real men.
But we all know how the saying goes. Whoever takes shortcuts just cuts himself short.
And this brings me to a quote from Musashi Miyamoto from The Book Of Five Rings. A book that I’ve read multiple times and highly recommend.
“Crossing at a ford means, for example, crossing the sea at a strait, or crossing over a hundred miles of broad sea at a crossing place. I believe this “crossing at a ford” occurs often in a man’s lifetime. It means setting sail even though your friends stay in harbour, knowing the route, knowing the soundness of your ship and the favour of the day. When all the conditions are met, and there is perhaps a favourable wind, or a tailwind, then set sail. If the wind changes within a few miles of your destination, you must row across the remaining distance without sail.” – Musashi Miyamoto
Crossing at a ford.
Crossing at a ford means crossing at a shallow point. In this case, it means taking steps towards something without taking a big risk.
Nonetheless, it occurs often in a man’s life. This means that we often, maybe even daily, have the opportunity to build character and mental toughness. We can build character by making the right choices. Picking what’s right over what isn’t. We can build mental toughness by doing hard things rather than easy ones.
Whether or not you do this is entirely up to you, of course. But realize that you’re creating a bad habit by always taking the easy road. This will result in you being a weak man with no character. At that point, you’re basically useless as a man.
Setting sail even though your friends stay in harbour.
The next parts need to be repeated before I explain it as a whole.
It means setting sail even though your friends stay in harbour, knowing the route, knowing the soundness of your ship and the favour of the day. When all the conditions are met, and there is perhaps a favourable wind, or a tailwind, then set sail.
Crossing a ford doesn’t only cover the small decisions you can make daily. It also covers the big decisions we have to make. Sometimes that means that you’ll leave family and friends behind to go further in your journey, simply because they don’t understand your vision or goals.
This is where people tend to doubt whether or not they should go for it. If they go for what they want, the bonds with the people they know might get broken or watered down. If they stay, they’ll never set out to do what they really want to do.
Whatever you pick is entirely up to you, but realize that every choice you make has consequences. Even not making a choice is actually making a choice, because opportunities don’t wait around forever.
By not making a choice, you choose not to pursue your dreams. But when you choose, you’ll have to make a choice. Leave your family and friends behind or forget about your goals.
Sometimes, you just can’t have both, simply because the majority of people look at the world through their own past experiences. People who have played it safe their whole lives won’t understand why you want to set out for a big adventure, let alone accompany you.
Knowing the route, the soundness of your ship, and the favor of the day
knowing the route, knowing the soundness of your ship and the favour of the day. When all the conditions are met, and there is perhaps a favourable wind, or a tailwind, then set sail.
Whenever you set out to get to a certain destination, you start preparing to make sure you can actually get there. When I quit my job to leave for Thailand, I was fully prepared. This wasn’t an in-the-moment decision. It was on my mind for quite some time. So I prepared everything to make it happen.
Once you have been preparing for a while, there will come a time when preparation meets opportunity. This is a crucial moment since a lot of people start doubting themselves and mess up.
You’ve prepared all this time for this moment. Why would you doubt yourself now? Double down on this moment. You prepared for this; now it’s time to make the most of it. It isn’t time to sabotage yourself. By doing that, you’re basically throwing away all the time you’ve spent preparing for this moment. Only to result in you blaming yourself for messing up.
You know what to do; the opportunity is there, so go and fucking do it. Nobody cares when you wallow in self-pity. You chose to do it; now go and earn it.
If the wind changes…
If the wind changes within a few miles of your destination, you must row across the remaining distance without sail.”
Even with perfect preparation, things could go wrong or something might happen that catches you off guard along the way. This is what ‘if the wind changes’ refers too.
Some things are completely out of your control and have to be dealt with. So when something like this happens, you must ‘row’. This means that you have to double down on your efforts to get to your destination.
What other options do you have? Waiting for another favorable wind? That wind might never come, and that is something most people don’t seem to think about.
In the end, this is the ultimate test of your character. Everyone can keep going when they have a favorable wind. But how many keep going when they have to row?
A lack of character will ultimately result in a lack of results.
The reality of the matter
The majority of people will dream about leaving the harbor but never leave it. They will always find a reason to stay in their safe harbor, only to feel uncomfortable with all the regret and buildup of frustration. Once they reach that point, they’ll have to face the fact that their opportunity to leave is long gone.
Remember, opportunities wait for no one, not even the timid.
A smaller part will actually set sail, only to return as soon as they face a headwind. A lot of people want everything to go their way. They want it easy and give up as soon as the smallest setback arises. These are the people that will say stuff like “Oh well, at least I tried”.
A very small part will leave the safe harbor and row when they face a headwind. These people will inevitably reach their destination and sail out to other destinations. They have the character and mental toughness that are needed to achieve anything in life.
The last group of people will be the happiest since they will earn things they worked for.
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Until next time.
Alex
