People that have never been in the ring are always curious how fighters feel before the fight. The thing is that the answer will be different for everybody to a degree. But there is one thing that could make the whole fight day experience worse, which is denial of how you feel. Let me explain.
A couple of days ago, I had a local fight in Chiang Mai. We send 7 fighters to compete over there. On my fight day, one of the people from the gym came up to me and asked me how I was feeling. “I’m nervous”, I replied. The guy who asked was shocked and, told me I looked so calm while everyone else was jumping around, hyping themselves up etc. I explained to him that everyone has a way of dealing with nerves but the other ways people use don’t sit well with me. I can’t imagine walking in circles trying to hype myself up or calm myself down. It would drive me crazy and honestly have no clue what these people are trying to accomplish. I rather just sit down and chill.
And this takes us to the denial part. Most people when asked how they feel will say something along the lines of “I’m ready”. Not a lot of people actually talk about being nervous. They try to look strong which only makes them die more on the inside. These are the people that are nervous and look nervous. They need something to calm them down but don’t know what. They might try some breathing stuff, meditation etc. but the reality is that accepting you’re nervous is way easier. Why try to deny or avoid the inevitable?
It’s bound to happen. That is why I look so calm before fights. Yes, I’m nervous but I know that’s normal. Just realizing it’s a part of the game is what you need to do rather than trying to avoid it every time. It’s the elephant in the room you can’t ignore. I assure you adrenaline dumps would be easily avoided if you just accepted it rather than fight or ignore it.
A show called Loudermilk.
Recently I began watching a show called Loudermilk. The show is basically a dark comedy with a touch of reality. The main character, Loudermilk, is a recovering alcoholic with a bad attitude. There’s quite a lot to learn from this show but one thing stood out to me.
In the first season, Loudermilk says that everyone has a reason to drink. Not a single happy person would abuse a substance simply because there wouldn’t be a trigger for them to do so. This is something I’ve covered endlessly on Twitter/X when I talked about porn addiction which lead me to release the porn detox course. The foundation was my experience of working with addicts when I was in college but also my experience afterwards where I helped people get off porn.
Tons of people have these fraud methods that sound cool on paper but in reality do jack shit simply because they never address the root cause (meditation is an example of this). In some cases, they might make the issue even worse (like praying). The crazy thing is that these methods are still being pushed like crazy because the big accounts keep pushing them, which ultimately leads to people not being able to overcome their issue. All while wasting money on courses that will never help them.
Because in the end, no one is an addict, they don’t need the stuff they’re abusing. They think they need it to deal with their reality. In the end, it’s the cowards way out. You can’t outdrink, outdrug …. your reality. You can’t escape it, taking that approach will do more harm than good. The only way to deal with it, is to face it and solve it. The sooner you take this approach, the less you can destroy your life.
And yes, sometimes that means you need to man up and get over it. Life isn’t fair for anyone. We all get shitty cards from time to time and we all have to move on to make sure we can have a good quality of life. Otherwise, you’ll just destroy your life for no good reason. Simply put, you can’t control what happens to you but you can control how you react/deal with it now and down the line. In the end, we’re the creators of our own (mis)fortune.
Getting labeled as an addict.
Another thing is that being called an addict or labeling yourself as an addict becomes a “feel sorry for me thing”. It becomes part of people’s identity. They claim they can’t help it because they’re addicted. But the reality is that they can help it since they’re the one choosing to abuse the substance. Can you see how going to therapy might make the issue even worse?
Imagine being completely miserable and going to therapy to talk about your problems. You’d start abusing substances for less. The solution isn’t talking about your problems. The solution is to talk about how to solve your problems. Taking this approach will actually get you somewhere without spending a ton of money. The last thing you want is some idiot without life experience telling you how your life should be based on the theory he saw in school, only to subscribe you with pills.
This is something I recently learned. A guy with drinking problems went to a doctor and the doctor prescribed him pills that would make him puke if he’d drink alcohol. When I asked what the point was if you don’t know what triggers him to drink, the answer was “he just needs to stop drinking”. Suicide would make him stop drinking as well, that doesn’t make it a good option though. Imagine someone drinking because they hate their life, they get pills so they have to stop drinking and suddenly they have to face their reality sober without knowing how. I’d say suicide is something they’d be considering.
It’s harming people with the intend to help. And that happens more often than you think. And it’s mostly followed by the phrase “I tried to do the right thing’. And after that……., it’s wash and repeat…
Nutrition Coaching
Over the past few years, I’ve coached fighters helping them heal their metabolism and lose weight. In the past, I didn’t really promote it that much but now I want to focus on this more because I enjoy it. If you have issues losing weight, not fueling properly, have a damaged metabolism you can message me the word “nutrition” on Instagram.
In this 3 month program, I help you heal your metabolism, teach you how to lose weight without burning out and how to cut weight for a fight and much more.
On training and fighting in Thailand
Thinking about coming to train or fight in Thailand? Like mentioned before, not learning about the culture is one of the biggest mistakes you could make.
That is why I wrote my e-book to fully prepare you for your upcoming trip. You can buy it here.
Struggling with porn?
Porn keeps poisoning young men, and most don’t know how to stop using it.
The mainstream methods out there never tackle the root cause, only to make young men frustrated and relapse over and over again.
You could keep doing this over and over again, or you could use a method that gets you off porn in two weeks.
The choice is yours.
Get my porn detox course here.
Don’t forget to follow me on Instagram.
Until next time.
Alex
