I had two weeks of vacation and sadly enough they’re over now. I took some time off blogging because that was the right thing according to my heart (more on that later). So for two weeks I didn’t blog and didn’t go to my normal job. So what did I do? Well, I learned a lot during this period and I decided to write about it to reflect upon it one more time. These are life lessons that might benefit you as well. It’s up to you to take action and so something with it. I’m just about to share what I learned. Enjoy.
Two weeks of vacation and a normal job
Nothing special happened during the weekend but on Monday I learned a first big lesson. I woke up and was full of energy. I don’t get out of bed that easily when I have to go to work. Then it’s more of a struggle but I get it done. Anyways I got up and it immediately struck me. I hate my job. I knew that I didn’t like it but I had no clue that it was that bad. The strange thing is that I always assumed that would have happened in Stockholm but it didn’t. There’s no real logic behind it but I knew that I had to take action. I got way too comfortable and paid the price.
People tend to make poor decisions when they’re comfortable and so did I. But I learned from the mistakes and started to look for a way out (which will take some time but I’ll make it work).
Two weeks of vacation and I didn’t travel
Most people travel when they have time of work but I didn’t. It’s way too expensive and most people do it to escape their reality. They want to get away from their reality as far as possible with tons of sun. It’s easy to escape your problems but I didn’t want to escape them. I wanted to face my problems. That’s how you improve your life. So I did the same thing for 2 weeks in a row. I got up, read a fair bit, walked a dog from a shelter, ate in the park where I walked, studied MMA in a coffee bar, went home and either trained or relaxed. In between, I faced my obstacles and jumped over them one by one. I spent a lot of time on my own and it was time well spent.
Most people waste tons of money when they travel.
So many people travel to exotic places when everybody is traveling (July and August). The prices to travel are crazy during that period. The sad part is that most people travel to spend time in the sun at a beach or a pool. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with doing that but somehow it’s weird that you do it the whole trip 24/7. You could have done that at home as well for a lesser amount of money. But I get it, that doesn’t give you the attention on social media. I would take a good look at your values if this is the case for you.
I hope you realize that you wasted a shit ton of money just to impress other people? What did you get out of it? Some virtual likes from people that you don’t know? Still don’t get it, still don’t like it.
But I guess that I’m the weird one here.
Two weeks of vacation: walk a dog
The answer to every problem is simple: walk a dog. Dogs are the kindest animals there are and they’ll give you tons of love. You can’t stay in a negative state mind and walk a dog. Well, you can but that’s just an indication that you’ve got a lot of stuff to work on. And I mean a whole lot. I walked with a husky every day and we got along pretty well.
So why don’t you walk a dog? These animals will force you to stay present at the moment and forget all your worries on a dime.
Two weeks of vacation: spend time in nature.
I spend a lot of time in the park because it’s beautiful and relaxing. I don’t like to spend a lot of time in big cities. They’re overcrowded and filled with people who don’t have a clue on how to spend their time. It’s peaceful in nature and quiet as well. So for me, this was the ideal reading and walking spot. I guess that’s the reason why I love Stockholm so much. The city isn’t overcrowded and you have access to beautiful spots in nature all the time. Just Google it, you might be surprised at how beautiful the country is.
I know a park isn’t true to nature like some beautiful spots in the states but it’s better than sitting outside a pub while you do nothing but complaining about how unfair life is. That’ll solve everything! Oh wait… it won’t.
Two weeks of vacation and the obsession took over.
I’m obsessed with martial arts and I noticed that I was able to improve more when I completely focused on it (don’t worry I’ll still blog but the second book is on the back burner right now). I got a deeper understanding of things that I had learned in my gym and Stockholm. I could even take it to another level but also realized that I have still a lot to learn but that makes it so damn intriguing.
There’s a big lesson here: sometimes you’ve got to set priorities. Oh and don’t try new things (shadowboxing) on the second floor of a coffee bar. You might assume that you’re alone but people know how to walk the stairs. Weird right?! I was probably just as surprised as you! No, all jokes aside learn to focus on one thing and what’s important at a certain phase in your life. That’ll make you improve. You can do other things as well but there can only one thing to be your number one.
Two weeks of vacation and responsibility
Part of being an adult is taking up responsibility for your mistakes and stuff that happens in your life. For example, I had a couple of dates before my vacation and it took me 2 dates (between the first and second date to be exact) to figure out that it wasn’t going to work. My gut feeling told me that something was off but I didn’t listen. I didn’t want to judge so I gave it another shot. Turned out that my gut feeling was right all along. She was meeting other guys behind my back and wasn’t honest with me. It’s not my fault that she did that my it’s my responsibility to do the right thing and learn the lessons that I needed to make sure that I make it work when I meet the right woman.
I didn’t listen to my gut feeling but I should have. I should have set boundaries a lot quicker and it should have ended before the second date. But I did it anyway so that’s the stuff that I take with me now. I accept my flaws and take responsibility for them but I also make sure that they don’t happen again.
It applies to everything.
The same goes for my normal job. The main lesson was that I got too comfortable and made poor decisions based on that. I still believe that I and other people make better decisions when they’re uncomfortable. So learn from my mistakes. Don’t get too comfortable. This should be the main takeaway of this whole blog. Comfort kills your potential and your dreams. It’s freaking hard to do the right thing when you have an average paycheck every month and a roof above your head. It’s easy to numb your brain with alcohol during the weekend and with social media during the week or vice versa. It’s bad either way. Running away from your problems is the easiest thing there is, too bad that they run behind you and eventually catch up with you.
Yes, you’ve read it correctly, your problems have better cardio than you! So from now on, I’m going to work like I’m broke. I don’t want to face this shit ever again.
Two weeks of vacation: taking a step away
Sometimes you have to step away from a problem to see a wider perspective. I got stuck on an issue with somebody else and just stepped away from it. Eventually, I realized that it was up to me to take action and not care about the other person’s opinion. The action might be taken personally but it’s up to that person to take responsibility and learn the lessons. That’s something that you should realize. People might take out all their pity cards because they can’t handle the truth but in the end, you have to take care of yourself as well. Don’t put your own needs on the backburner because someone else acts like a victim. Both of you won’t get better from it.
Some people take everything personally and always blame other people but can it be possible that they’re always the victim and that all the others are jerks? You might be eager to say yes but the answer is no! Reflect on this. It might make your life better.
Vacation and other people.
I noticed that a lot of people constantly tell little lies to themselves. It amazed me how delusional some people are. Hint, it’s an ego thing. Some people are the complete opposite of what they claim which is sad. But they act like this because they want to convince themselves that they what they claim they are. I have a pretty easy example to prove it. There are a lot of people who claim that they’re happily single. I sense danger when I hear people claim something like this. People like this are mostly desperate clingy people. They’ll claim certain things but mostly do the complete opposite.
So these self- proclaimed happy single people will mostly fall madly in love with you after a single date. Which might sound fun to you but it’s not and you have some stuff to work on if you like this. You’re pretty fucked if you date such a girl and I don’t mean it in a good way. The only thing that’ll get seriously fucked is your mind. Aside from that, they’ll dump you for the first guy that’ll give them more attention.
You don’t have to believe me. Date one for yourself and prove me wrong.
I get what you mean but what’s the point of this lesson?
Well, the lesson is pretty simple. How can you expect someone to be honest with you if they can’t be honest with yourself? Being honest with yourself is one of the hardest things to do because it makes you look at things that you don’t like about yourself but that’s what eventually makes you grow. So smart people will be like “okay this is a part about myself that I need to work on but I got it.” People who constantly lie to themselves will make up tons of bullshit excuses to make sure that they don’t have to work on themselves.
The first people that come to mind are the ones who claim that they’re exes are crazy. Somebody has to figure out that nobody can date so many crazy people in one single lifetime. Well, it might be possible for some guys but what do all those girls have in common? Only one thing and that’s the guy. You’re fucked if you don’t learn from your mistakes. The fact that you constantly lie to yourself will only make things worse over time. How much longer until you can admit your mistakes? How long will it take to drop the “I am perfect” act? A lifetime? I wish you all of the best when you’re on your deathbed, you’re going to face hell.
Vacation and other people part 2.
There’s a place and a time for everything and something that I realized is that people assume that I’m a weird guy because I claim that I hate normal jobs. I get zero fulfillment out of it. I mostly was silent about it but now I stopped caring about it. Well, I realized that I’m one of the few people that’s honest about it. I don’t know a lot of people who go to their job with a smile on their face. If you like what you’re doing, then, by all means, keep on doing it. But are you honest with yourself on this one? A lot of people claim that they HAVE TO GO to work. That doesn’t sound like something that you enjoy. People won’t claim that they have to go to a party.
In those 14 days, I realized that a lot of people just don’t get how I think but I’m okay with that. Most of them probably don’t even think for themselves. There are things that you shouldn’t throw wide in the open but it’s okay to talk to certain people about such matters. Some people understand you. They’re just the minority of the people.
The main lesson here: don’t give a fuck about other people’s opinions. You can’t control their opinions. Just be you, most people forget about you the second they can stare at their phone or watch the news.
Or as Vishan Lakhiani said: I became unfuckwithable.
Two weeks of vacation. Why do you still write?
I had to fit this in so I decided to put it more to the end. I always wonder why people keep asking me this question. Well, some people wouldn’t like it if this blog would disappear (it won’t) but there’s a bigger lesson here. Writing is high level problem-solving. Well if you write blogs like me off course. You won’t find a fashion blog on my blog #fackthat.
I take a look at a certain problem and start tackling it while I write. You can do the same of course. Let’s now take it to a broader perspective. What is fighting? That’s high-level problem solving as well. People who disagree have no clue what they’re talking about. So writing makes me able to take a look at problems and tackle them as soon as possible without really thinking about it. It makes sure that I’m present in the moment and flow with the go. Crazy right?
Have I ever told you that fighting and life have a lot in common? Well, I did now!
Vacation and the fact that you should challenge your beliefs.
At one point somebody told me that I was doing great in life. It’s easy to acknowledge this and act like the world will be yours but I didn’t do it. Instead, I questioned if I was on the right track. I mean, my year didn’t start well and I had to overcome a lot of obstacles for the last 7 months. A lot more than anticipated, to be honest. I’m currently 2-0 in missed fights. I had to work during the first one and the second one was held earlier than mentioned and I didn’t get informed about it until 2 days before the event. I couldn’t jump in on short notice because I had inflammation on my leg and couldn’t absorb a leg kick, which sucks big time.
So I was pretty pissed off at first but then I realized that I only have gotten better and that I’ll just keep on improving until I get a fight. It’s easy to cry about the missed opportunities but they make you miss all the growth that you made. So focus on what you gained and not on what you don’t have or lost.
What the fuck Alex?!
Or like my buddy told me: “what the fuck Alex”. He meant “what happened to you? When did you get so comfortable?!” So was the guy right? He was, to be honest. I had a crappy experience date but I learned my lessons. I missed out on 2 fights but I got better and so on. Sometimes you have to take a good look at where you’re at and sometimes you’ll realize that you’re on the right track and sometimes you’ll realize that you’re on a sidetrack. I have 5 more months to tackle my goals and that’s what I’m going to do.
Vacation and the single life.
A lot of people pushed me to date in during my vacation and it was tempting but I removed those dating apps quicker than I installed them. Man, I was like “Nope this still sucks”. In the end, I realized that it was my “fault” that I’m still single. I could have been in a relationship maybe twice over the whole time that I’m single and I fucked up. Yes, I fucked up twice. But It’s not a bad thing.
You see if I hadn’t been single for all that time I wouldn’t have changed my life, I wouldn’t have traveled on my own and I probably would have never finished my book. I beat a giant depression and suicidal tendencies, learned to control anxiety in front of large groups and so on. Sometimes I just seem to forget what I accomplished.
So it’s not bad at all. I fully take responsibility for the fact that I’m still single and will make sure that I don’t make the same mistakes as I did in the past. So still no regrets so far in life. Let’s keep it that way.
Vacation and the fact that you should relax if…
Most people take a break from everything during vacation. Well, they don’t take a break from everything. They do the same but they don’t go to work. I already talked about this in the ‘I didn’t travel part’. I did relax from time to time. It became about time that I found some time to watch Deadpool 2 and I also watched some Rick And Morty. Great show for people who haven’t watched it yet. It’s funny but there are some serious life lessons in every single episode. They just bring it absurdly.
Still not convinced? Read this blog post written by Vincent Cachero. He’s a Fighttips coach (on YouTube), MMA fighter, blogger, and photographer. He did a great job writing about this matter. He did such a great job that I decided to link to his blog instead of writing one of my own. That blog was also the reason why I started watching it. Read it here. Note that he wrote 2 more great posts about this show but you won’t get the lessons until you watch the show.
A too long didn’t read vacation.
Some people claim that my blog posts are way too long and I’m glad that they share their opinion. But think about it this way: I gave you 14 life lessons and I gave them for free. Shouldn’t you be grateful that you were able to learn something new? You might be pretty lazy if you don’t want to read a blog. Or maybe you’ll claim that you don’t have time but I can easily debunk that excuse. Some people are so busy making excuses that they’re too busy to improve. Let that one sink in for a moment.
I read 8 books and learned 14 life lessons during my 14- day vacation. I learned studied hours of Muay Thai and found time to relax. What’s your excuse?!
In conclusion: a vacation well spent.
I think that this vacation learned me so much because I wasn’t in my “normal comfort zone” if I can put it like this. I didn’t go to work and I was barely at home. Those are the 2 places that put you the most to sleep so that were the places that I avoided the most.
Crazy vacation right?! I’ve grown a lot and that’s what it’s all about. Creating momentum so that you can improve your life one single step at a time. Because in the end, even a bad day is still a good day. Those are the days that make you grow. Those are the days that take you one step closer to your real potential. Life isn’t about seeking comfort or numbing the pain as most people do. It’s about seeking lessons and working with those learned lessons.
What can I say?
It’s good to be back.
It’s good to be uncomfortable again.
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Till next time
Alex
