Have you ever faced a loss in life? You probably did, didn’t you?! But have you ever opened up about it? That’s a whole different story, isn’t it?! So this weekend I entered a BJJ tournament here in Belgium. I was looking forward to it and I enjoyed the fact that I was finally going to compete again. So I enjoyed the fight as well but I got caught in a flying armbar second before the end by my own mistake. I had to tap out 5 seconds before the end because I would have had a broken arm otherwise. Seconds after that I shook my opponent’s hand, wished him all the best and moved on. I have to admit that it sucked a bit since I was ahead on the scorecard but that’s how it goes in combat sports.
So what has this to do with the perspective of loss you ask? Well, let’s dive into my head and take a look at how I deal with loss and how I see others do it.
Let’s talk about the perspective of loss.
Something really strange happens when you face a loss in life. People will ask you if you’re ok which is normal I guess. After that, you’ll have 2 different groups of people. The ones that support you and the ones that mock you right in your face. Yes, you’ve read it correctly people will celebrate when you face adversity. Those people are just pieces of shit but here comes the great part. I celebrate a loss as well. It’s one of the best things that can ever happen to you. Sounds a bit weird doesn’t it?
Let’s talk about the perspective of loss and other people.
Some people want to project an absurd image into the world. They want to be seen as if they’re only perfect. They share all the highs of their but they silently disappear when they hit a low. These people crumble under the pain of a loss which is weird if you ask me. The first thing that I did when I got up was accepting that I lost and that’s a hard thing to do. Most people can’t do it. They’ll make excuses but making excuses will make sure that you never grow. I mean you convince yourself that you lost because something was out of your control but it wasn’t.
Making excuses is the worst thing that you can do. You might convince a lot of people that your opponent was lucky or that it wasn’t your night but you won’t fool smart people. I made a mistake and my opponent took the opportunity. Props to him.
Let’s talk about the perspective of loss
Loss is a part of life. You can’t grow if you don’t lose in life. So you’re wasting a golden opportunity to grow or get better if you don’t improve after a loss. I wanted to know what I had done wrong right after the fight. I was even in the gym the day after the fight. That’s the thing, I can face people head-on when I lost. People treat it like it’s a bad thing but it isn’t. Your perception of the event is bad. Not the loss itself. So maybe you should embrace the fact that you’re not perfect?! Maybe you should accept that you’ll face a lot more adversity in life? Or do you want to keep up the act and pretend that you’re all perfect and never make a mistake?
You might convince yourself that it’s a sign of strength but it isn’t. Being vulnerable is a sign of strength and running away from your problems is a sign of weakness.
In conclusion: let’s talk about the perspective of loss.
So what do you do next time you face a loss?
Accept it.
Learn from it
and try again of course.
Your forward momentum will pay off in the long run.
That’s it.
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Till next time
Alex
