The subtle art of not giving a fuck is a book that has been written by Mark Manson (buy it here). Famous people like Chris Hemsworth (on his Instagram), Brandon Carter (popular YouTuber) …. recommend this book. The problem is that it’s easy to tell others to not give a fuck. Most people even admire people who’re able to do it but they can’t do it themselves. It’s not that hard, to be honest. You just have to realize the mindset behind it. Now I already devoted a blog post about it but I needed to write a second one (read the first one here). I came to this conclusion while I was researching about Stoicism and found a blog post about this subject.
Chad Howse dedicated a blog post about this matter (read it here). It’s a great blog post for sure. But I decided to add some things so that people could understand how you really can stop caring about others’ opinions. Life’s a lot better when you’re able to do it.
But there’s one thing that you’ve got to realize before we dive into this post. Not giving a fuck is not the same as being indifferent. You shouldn’t act like a little boy. You’re just being comfortable with being different. You can’t have this attitude towards everything in life. It’s only applicable to the things that do not matter at all.
The subtle art of not giving a flying fuck: stop stressing
“I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinions of himself than on the opinions of others.” Marcus Aurelius
People cared about the opinions of others since the dawn of time. This quote by Marcus Aurelius (a Roman Emperor) proves this. People stress too much about the opinions of others these days as well. There are also more tools to give your opinion so people are anxious as soon as they meet people or as soon as they open social media. This constant stress is taxing for your body and your mind as well. Stress kills there’s no doubt about it but people are extremely prone to it. People worry and over-worry day in and day out. They slowly shell up and can’t perform any more when they’re in front of a large group of people. People have an opinion about everyone and everything but they forget it pretty soon after they’ve shared it. That’s what most people just don’t seem to realize.
The subtle art of not giving a flying fuck: opinions
Opinions are just words. It’s fine when people share there opinion but it’s how they see you. It’s all a matter of perception. This perception doesn’t have to become your reality. This can only be done if you know who you are. But most people are estranged by themselves. They don’t know the real them because they’re following the herd. They do the one thing that they should’ve avoided their whole life. They focus on others instead of themselves. That’s extremely dangerous. That’s what makes you anxious all the time. But let me share my approach and how I’m able to do it.
The subtle art of not giving a flying fuck: my approach
I’ve heard people claim the same thing over and over again. They claim that it looks like I don’t care about the opinions of others. The reality is that I don’t care. Some people give valuable feedback and others don’t. You’ve got to separate the wheat from the chaff. It’s easier said than done of course but that’s why I focus on the things that I can control. I focus on myself and how I react to others. That’s what I can control but I can’t control what other people say to me/about me or what they think about me. So why would I care about it? I just focus on myself and what I’m going to do. That alone is pretty time consuming but it makes sure that I progress in life.
Others focus on other people so they don’t progress anymore. They stand still in life and that’s dangerous. That’s when your brain capacity will start to shrink. You’ll become dumber and bitterer and you won’t even notice it.
The subtle art of not giving a flying fuck: what if…?
So you’re still not convinced? Are you still worried about the opinion of others? Do you’ve got trouble to let certain things go? Well, imagine this: you get a phone call from your doctor and he tells you that you’ve got only one week left to live. That would be devastating news but would you change your approach in life? Would you still care about the opinion of others or would you just not give a fuck. I bet that you wouldn’t care. I bet that you wouldn’t worry about all the small things in life. Don’t sweat the small stuff is a saying for a reason. Some people just need a good reason to stop doing it.
The subtle art of not giving a flying fuck: Viktor Frankl
Viktor Frankl survived the holocaust and he lived in the concentration camps for quite a while. Can you guess how he was as a person after this whole experience? He was a joyful person and he survived one of the worst things in human history. His book Man’s Search For Meaning (buy it here) is high on my book list. So if he can come out of such an experience as a joyful person why can’t you stop bitching about the small insignificant things in life? Why are you still losing sleep over the opinion of others? Why are you still giving a fuck? Stop wasting time and start doing things that matter.
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Till next time
Alex
