Can you be selfish in a good way? Yes, it’s completely possible! I’ve noticed that a lot of people these days put their own needs on the backburner. They put themselves second and wonder why they get run over all the time. Well, the reason why is pretty easy. You’re not true to you and it only gets harder if you don’t work on that matter. At one point in time, you’ll have to realize a very simple principle: it’s me first. It’s you first and not your girlfriend, wife, family, friends or whatever you put in front of you. So now you can assume that I’m a big egocentric maniac but hear me out on this one. Being selfish doesn’t mean that you don’t share and treat everybody like they’re below you.
It’s just making yourself, your goals and your happiness a priority. People who don’t get this have a lot to learn.
Be selfish but in a good way.
I can explain this principle very easily. I have certain goals in life and I want to achieve them all (who wouldn’t). But there was one thing that I told myself when I wrote my goals down: no one was going to hold me down in the pursuit of these goals. No girlfriend, family, job or whatever holds people down these days. You see I see the whole journey as a train trip. The destination is set but sometimes I stop at a station to pick people up who join me on the journey. Most of them leave as quickly as they came but that’s okay. The journey goes on, the only way is forward. It’s up to them to decide if they want to stay or not.
So far 4 people stayed and a lot more left. I just think that most people aren’t serious enough about their goals if you ask me. Let me explain.
Be selfish but in a good way. Forget about family.
Some people say stuff like “I would do X but I have to take care of my family you know”. Now let’s imagine that X is something that can make the person more money and that the family is “perfectly healthy”. Why wouldn’t the person do it? You can take care of your family with the extra money that you’ve got. Most people pull the family card because they don’t want to get out of their comfort zone. It sounds like a noble act but it’s just an excuse. It’s easy to stay comfortable and use your family as an excuse but would they do the same? There will be someone in the family who’s smart enough to figure out that you only live once and that nobody should hold you down.
Those will take off as soon as they’ve got an opportunity. Everybody who has the opportunity for a better future will take off in no time. You would be stupid to not accept it.
Be selfish but in a good way. Forget about the relationship.
Most people do everything to make another person happy. Don’t get me wrong you should do effort for other people when you date but you’ll never be able to make a miserable person happy. That’s just mission impossible part 6. You can’t turn a miserable person into a happy person no matter how hard you try. Only they can make the change but I’m pretty sure that some people love the idea that some white knight will save them and make them happy. You need to get out of such a relationship as soon as possible. I repeat: get out of as soon as possible. Especially if you care about your own happiness. Trust me on this one.
You’ll turn into a miserable person as well if you stay in such a relationship. Get your head out of your ass and take a look at the facts. You’re not noble, you’re just dumb because you’re carrying around dead weight. Some people won’t get this but the ones who have been in such a relationship will get what I mean.
Be selfish but in a good way. Forget about the relationship part 2.
So now comes the dating. A lot of guys tend to put their projects on the backburner when they date or they let girls walk over them when they date just to get laid. Don’t do it. You still have to put in the work when you date or are in a relationship. Most guys disappear from the planet as soon as they’re in a relationship. They become comfortable and make the woman their priority but women don’t like that (they won’t admit it though). Read ‘The Way Of The Superior Men” if you don’t believe me (buy it here). That book was pretty on point about female behavior.
Be selfish but in a good way. Learn to say no.
Sometimes you’ve got to say no to people. People aren’t used to the word no because most people are afraid of using it. This is especially the case if someone tries to test your boundaries. They’ll test you until you either give in or make them stop and some people really give in a lot. No is a powerful word so you better use it. You don’t have to agree with everything someone else says. Most people do this anyways.
Be selfish but in a good way. Learn to set priorities.
You have to set priorities in life to get something out of life. MMA is numero uno with me so nothing comes in the way of that. Blogging and reading are on 2 but they shift accordingly to the things that I’ve got going on in a day. I don’t have to deplete my willpower by constantly making choices. For example, Belgium played in the world cup but I trained first, ate healthily and after that, I joined my friends to watch the second half.
Be selfish but in a good way. Learn to walk away.
Some people never change and some people will make your life pretty freaking miserable. Just walk away before they make it even worse. Some women can really play with your feelings so cut them loose. Life’s too short to play dumb games that zap all your energy out of you. I’ve done this countless times to people who kept on trying to test my boundaries. Most of them tried to return and most of them never got back on the train. Actually none of them.
In conclusion: be selfish but in a good way.
It’s pretty easy: you and your goals come first. Never put your happiness in the hands of others.
So kick people out when they try to hurt you.
Kick girls out when they play games. A real woman doesn’t play games.
Ditch the negative people. You can’t save them.
Learn to set priorities and act accordingly.
Don’t let anyone manipulate you in things that you don’t want. Don’t be a chameleon. Set your norms and values and act accordingly.
So what if….?
Someone tries to hurt me? They get pushed off the train.
A person tries to play games? They get pushed off the train.
Someone talks shit behind my back? They get pushed off the train.
Someone offends my norms and values more than once? They get pushed off the train.
Someone keeps on lying to me? They get pushed off the train.
A person ignores me without a reason? They get pushed off the train.
Someone tries to keep me in Belgium? I won’t keep on living in Belgium because of family, a girlfriend or whatever excuse other people use. My heart is and will always be in Stockholm. There’s no reason to put my own needs on the backburner.
The train has to keep on going and the chances that you’re getting back on it are pretty damn small. Nobody has succeeded so far but you never know. Someone else has to be capable to make a change as well. But they’re out forever if they fuck up after that.
So this is to all the others who got pushed off: hate to say I told you so.
What can I say?
I ain’t no nice guy after all.
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Alex
