Have you ever spend some time in silence or in solitude? Maybe you’ve even spent time in both together. Most people would avoid this like the plague but there’s actually a benefit to both of them. You see we’re conditioned to have a negative feeling towards solitude and even silence if you think about it. Parents punish their kids by putting them in solitude which leads to this behavior. But being alone from time to time isn’t that bad. It’s actually something that might improve your life big time. You’re just not aware of it. Well not yet. I’m here to tell you about it of course. Remember that I told you that you should forget about the looks and read some books? Well, now we’re going to add some extra things that’ll improve your life drastically. This combination is freaking dynamite.
The power of silence and solitude: change your habits.
Have you ever noticed what happens when there’s a sudden silence in a conversation? People get extremely uncomfortable. Most people can’t handle it. They’re afraid to face it and I know why (I’ll explain in a minute). So these people perform subtle forms of escapism. They start texting, ask to turn on the radio. They’ll basically do anything to escape the silence. But what makes silence so uncomfortable? Because silence turns your brain on. You’ll suddenly face thoughts and demons which you were avoiding for a while. This might be demons from a while ago and they’ll only get worse if you wait any longer to tackle them.
Being alone with your thoughts might be hard but it’s the only way to get to know the real you. So people who can’t handle silence have some stuff to work on. I’m pretty sure that most people like to tell themselves a lot of lies to make themselves feel better but those lies won’t make the demons go away. So the first step that you’ve got to do is get comfortable with silence.
The power of silence and solitude: it makes me aware of things.
I try to spend at least 30 minutes per day in silence and solitude. So I’ll meditate for 10 minutes first thing in the morning. I focus on breathing in this meditation session. Aside from that I’ll either walk or drive without the radio. This makes random thoughts pop up in my head. Some are joyful and others aren’t. Then I question where they come from if they’re negative. Maybe they’re pure bullshit or maybe they’re something that I’ve got to work on. It’s best to face those things head on because they will pop up more and more if you keep on avoiding them. Your mind is basically giving you an opportunity to grow and you’re just throwing it away. That pain should be your fuel.
What can I say? Get out of your comfort zone before it’s too late. The third meditation session occurs 10 minutes before I fall to sleep. I just focus on my breathing and do a lot of visualization. This means that I focus on what I want. I can actually see it. I sleep really well when I do it like that.
The power of silence and solitude: but what about reading?
I was and still am a big advocate of reading since it makes you aware of people’s ideas. You don’t have to agree with everything that you read but some ideas might actually make you grow as a person or give you a wider perspective on a certain problem. Sometimes they might even solve a certain problem but I solved most of my problems by spending time in silence and solitude. It’s the combination of reading and the other things that really make your mind work. Over time you just get better at tackling problems in life, sports and so on.
So why don’t you give it a shot? Why don’t you go out eating on your own? Are you afraid to meet the real you? Are you afraid that you realize how much potential that you’re wasting? That would be pretty confronting right?!
Don’t forget to check out my book. The ones who read it really liked it.
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Till next time
Alex
