Let’ talk about relationships. It’s safe to say that most people have no clue how a real relationship goes. A lot of people accept so many things and assume that it’s normal. The roots of this problem are easy to find if you ask me. Most people have the “it’s normal if everybody is facing the same problem” mentality. Well, that’s just stupid. You’re following the herd and the herd is always on a self- destructive path. But hey most people have the thinking capability of a 3-year-old. They become dumb and dumber over time and they don’t even get it. That’s why they’re delusional when it comes to relationships. Life is all sunshine and rainbows according to 3-year-olds so most adults assume that it has to be like that. They don’t get that nobody has an easy life.
Let us take a look at what people need to realize before they get into another relationship.
Relationships: your partner should be your best friend.
There are a lot of people who’ve got a best friend outside their relationship. So here’s the deal with that best friend. Those people are just there to hear the constant complaints about the other person’s partner. It sounds like a fun meetup if you ask me. But that an indicator that the relationship is going south. I mean in what kind of relationship do they avoid talking to each other? That’s right the bad ones. You might feel better by talking to it to another person but it won’t solve the problem. The problems will stack up and you’ll break up eventually. It’s just a matter of time. I’ve seen people who stayed in a dead relationship for years.
This might happen or have happened to you as well. Learn from your mistakes. It’s okay to have friends but you can only have one best friend. Just think about it… What could happen if your relationship is over? Your best friend will be your rebound since it’s familiar. But that’s just a toxic relationship if you ask me.
Relationships: Single and not happy? Just forget about it.
Most people can’t be alone so they constantly date to avoid loneliness. I can guarantee you that you’ll meet some crazy wackos if you’re using this approach. People who can’t be alone are smothering, clingy and extremely annoying. I hate that kind of woman. You can never make somebody happy if you can’t make yourself happy. The sad part is that making yourself happy can take some time. Sometimes even years. This all depends on how much damage you’ve done to yourself. It’s easy to say that you need to love yourself but I can guarantee you that it’s not easy to love yourself if you hate yourself. Trust me on this one. I hated myself when I was depressed. I couldn’t watch myself in the mirror. Self- love was an unknown concept to me but a lot of people don’t know it.
The people who don’t realize this are just lonely together. It’s a dead relationship right from the start and pretty toxic as well if you ask me. It’s defiantly one that you should avoid. Learn to embrace the power of silence and solitude. Learn to make yourself happy before you even consider dating again. You’ll never be happy if you can’t take yourself on a date to a restaurant. I’ve done this multiple times so far. It’s relaxing.
But don’t fall for the happy single myth
People claim that they’re happily single and that’s possible but take a good look at how these people live. They’re not that happy. They’re performing all kinds of escapism to avoid the truth. They do things like going out, getting drunk all the time and so on. Men and women are like yin and yang. You’re just half of a whole if you’re single. So being happy single is possible but it’ll suck from time to time as well since you’re missing something and you know it. Mankind is not made to be alone. You probably don’t believe me, do you?
Well just look at the singles. They eventually look for a fuckbuddy because that’s what “happy singles” do. Let me break it to you: you just want a relationship but you can’t admit it. We’re just living in a generation that doesn’t want a relationship but secretly we do. Trust me I’m single for 4 years and it sucks from time to time but feeling bad about it is a waste of time so I don’t try to feel too bad about it. Well, at least I’m smart enough to not fuck around.
So tell me, if you’re that happy why are you constantly swiping, dating and so on? It’s a bit contradictory, isn’t it?
Relationships: Fighting all the time isn’t normal.
Some people assume that fighting all the time is something that happens in every relationship but it isn’t normal if you ask me. It’s toxic and depressing. People who accept this reality are in desperate need of a reality check. You can’t fight all the time and be happy at the same time. Get your shit together or break up. There’s no reason to stay in a toxic relationship.
I’m not an advocate of divorce when you’ve got children but some people need to break up for the sake of their mental health. Nobody ever got better by staying in his comfort zone! It goes slowly downhill when you’re staying in your comfort zone. You just won’t notice it since it’s comforting all along the line.
You can probably find tons of reasons to stay together but what do they even matter if you’re completely miserable?
Relationships: a one-night stand is not a good base.
“I don’t believe in love at first sight. I think it’s a grave mistake. You’re attracted by physical characteristics and you will regret it.” -Lee Kuan Yew
Most people just want to have sex as soon as possible but sooner or later they’ll have to learn to know the person they’re dating. Those people are mostly heavily disappointed when they meet their real partners. The real base for a good relationship is friendship and not looks. That will lead to great sex life. The couples who’re living in a sexless marriage did something wrong. They’re not doing it like on the Discovery channel that’s for sure.
Relationships: you’re separate together.
I don’t believe in marriage counseling. It’s bullshit in my eyes. There should be a balance in a relationship, like yin and yang. It’s a separate whole. So both people need to work on themselves to be able to maintain a healthy relationship. That’s what most people don’t seem to get. You don’t need to make the other person happy. The other person will only be happy if they’re able to make themselves happy. So don’t date girls who can never be alone. It’s a recipe for disaster right from the start. Their whole happiness is linked to how much attention you’ll give them. That sounds exhausting if you ask me.
Relationships: the stages of a relationship.
Relationships will go through 2 stages. You’ll suffer and find purpose. This is the case for life as well. Well, most people never surpass the stage of suffering but that matter is a whole blog on its own. It’s in the time of pain that you’ll learn to know your partner’s true colors. Most people give up when they hit a rocky path. So they break up and search the happiness somewhere else. Smart people will notice that it’s a dumb choice since every relationship goes through these stages. But hey unhappiness makes people do dumb things so you’re not the only one.
Someone once said that it’s all about surviving. This might be true if you ask me.
It’s all about effort.
The best relationship advice that I ever got was this one: never give up and have a lot of sex while you do it. Now that’s what I call quality advice. To forget to implement the other tips first. It’s easy to base a relationship on a physical attraction but a mental connection is really rare.
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Till next time
Alex
