Have you ever wondered why most people can’t change their life? The answer isn’t that hard. Well, there are multiple answers and there will probably some that I overlooked. I just took the most obvious ones and those are the ones that are already overlooked. I’ve heard a lot of people claim that they would change their lives for the better. There was a lot of lip service but little to no action. To this day onwards I know one person who actually started doing it and still does it. All the others gave in or never started. Don’t get me wrong, it’s hard to change your life. It’s really hard and you’ll probably have to face a lot of self- created demons along the way. The stuff that doesn’t come easy in life is worth pursuing the most.
So how did I change my life you ask?
There are a lot of people who like to ask me how I changed my life and the answer is pretty simple. I had to make a change. It was either flip my life around or commit suicide (read my story here). There was no middle road there. You might think that it’s hard but it’s not. It’s just the truth. It was a wake-up call at the right time and I took the right decision. At that time I didn’t even think about blogging or MMA. I just wanted to get my life in check and live a normal life. That’s all I wanted. I wanted to escape hell and live like normal people. Well, we all know that it turned out a little bit different but I can’t complain. I was able to make a change and it motivates other people to do it as well.
So I arrived at a point where I’m perfectly happy and spiritually sound. I still work towards a better self but I guess that I never assumed that I reached this point. This wasn’t a normal life in my opinion back in the days. But normal is boring so you can have that. A normal life would have never given me the peace and feeling of rest that I’ve got right now. Make no mistake, I still have a lot to learn but I’m at peace with myself and that alone is an achievement.
So why can’t other people change their life?
Well, the answers are pretty easy.
- They’re afraid to be the real them
- They’re comfortable
- Last but not least: they’re afraid to take action
They’re afraid to be the real them.
I got a lot of shit when I changed my life. I heard things like “you were nicer back in the day” or “I liked the old you a lot more”. Of course, they liked the old me a lot more. People walked over me so damn easy in the past and those days were over. I just told the truth and nobody likes to hear the truth. But there’s a great lesson here. Those people weren’t my real friends since they didn’t want the best for me. The ones that wanted the best for me stayed and were happy that I was changing my life around. I can count those people on one hand.
Is it hard to be the real you? It is in the beginning but you won’t be miserable all the time. You can’t be a better person than the real you.
They’re comfortable.
People don’t get it but you can’t change your life if the pain to change isn’t greater than the pain to stay the same. You can endure a lot and you can get used to pain. Pain becomes comfortable after a while. This goes for physical and emotional pain. Just look at most people in a bad relationship. They hate it at first but after a while, they just get stuck in it. It’s like they don’t even care anymore and it’s the same pain. I think that some people just need to get to a point where they’ve had it. That’s the only point where you’ll take action. Although this can be dangerous. I could have easily taken the other choice and that’s what some people do.
It’s not easy and I’m not kidding.
It’s no coincidence that it’s hard to change your life. I mean imagine that you’re in a bad relationship with a bad job. That doesn’t sound like fun doesn’t it? But what if you live together? What if you’ve got a roof over your head?! Last and not least: what if you get an okay paycheck every month? Wouldn’t you be comfortable?
So tell me would you change it? Would you choose comfort and unhappiness over the discomfort and a chance of happiness? You probably would only change it if you have had it and that can take years for some people. Some even never make a change. What can I say?! Comfort makes cowards of us all. We deliberately pick comfort over what we should do in the first place. Follow our gut feeling take action and make sure that we get our lives back on track.
Keep going no matter what.
Some people take action but eventually give up and return to their old lives which is sad. They were going to have a better life but they just picked the old one because it required less effort. It’s sad but most of them will never make the change once again. They’ll just get used to the pain. I advise you to keep going no matter what. You can’t regret things if you keep on taking actions that make sure that you progress in life. Only people who take the wrong choices face regret and eventually crave their old lives because things were “better” back in the day according to them.
It’s all a matter of perspective of course. It wasn’t better. It just seemed like that because you made things even worse after you took action. Keep going but make sure that you go in the right direction. You have to create momentum! That’s what’ll keep you going in the first place. That’s what’ll make sure that you keep going forward even when your progress is stalling. Otherwise, you might eventually make the wrong choices along the road.
They’re afraid to take action: aka overthinking.
The journey of a thousand steps starts with a single step. You just have to take action if you want something but most people never do it. They want it but they overthink everything. They are looking for the perfect plan while there’s no such thing as the perfect plan. There’s not a single excuse that allows you to procrastinate. All your excuses might sound logical to you but it’s all bullshit and deep down inside you know it as well.
The worst thing is that I haven’t even covered all the distractions these days. All the social media notifications come into your phone as soon as you’ve got internet and you’re available 24/7. You can binge-watch shows for weeks in a row for free. It’s always possible to party and drink your problems away and stuff like Tinder will help you to ease your mind as well.
This increases the damage over time but people don’t care at that particular moment. They want instant gratification instead and don’t think about the long-term frustration. I’ve seen this occur with many people. They wanted a change but eventually returned to their old lives. They couldn’t resist the temptations and learned to live with it. What can I say, most people die at the age of 23 but only get buried when they’re 75.
I didn’t even mention the countless obstacles along the way in life.
See what I did here? I didn’t call it setbacks. I call these obstacles or opportunities to grow. Pain is cruel but you should use it as fuel. So many people give up as soon as they face an obstacle but you can never grow if you’re not in pain. The cure for the pain is actually in the pain. This is something that I learned first hand this year. I faced tons of obstacles and at one point I assumed that it was going to break me but it didn’t. I pushed on and came back a lot stronger from it. So the first 3 months of this year were full of obstacles and that might happen to you as well. Maybe faith is testing you to see how bad you want it. In the end, you just need to realize that you’re the problem and the solution.
Sometimes you’re even your obstacle. Sometimes you’re blocking your growth (just look at people who overthink). I can assure you that the journey will never end once you start it but that one step can change your life big time! That can be the start of a new beginning.
Take the step!
I met tons of interesting people along the road. Most of them didn’t stay in my life but they all learned me one or multiple lessons about myself or life in general. Some of them hurt me while others made me happy. But I think that there’s one big lesson that I can take away from all of this: don’t focus too much on the outcome, enjoy the journey. The journey towards a better life is just the best thing there is. Even with all the obstacles. So many people focus on the results but that’s just momentary happiness. Besides how can you party and get comfortable when you improved? Are you suddenly perfect now? I don’t think so!
Keep walking no matter what! Enjoy every single step (aka the small things) because the journey doesn’t last forever. You’re going to die one day and when that time comes you’ll be able to smile and say at least I did it my way. That must be a peaceful death because you’re not facing regret.
Everybody can do it but will you take the step and keep on walking?
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Till next time
Alex
