Online dating: waste of time or worth a dime?

Today we’re going to cover online dating. The reason why is pretty damn simple, most people feel lonely during the holidays because everybody is taken according to them and they’ll never find love (boohoohoo). They repeat this kind of behavior once valentine’s day arrives. How can you even be lonely? You’re in some really bad company if you’re lonely all the time! Maybe it’s time for some introspection? You’ll do some introspection anyways if you reach the end of this blog because I let the Alpha out of his cage and he’s about to rage. Will I offend people? Probably. Do I care? Probably not, it’s all about mastering the art of not giving a fuck.

In the past, I’ve used multiple dating apps (Tinder, Bumble, Twoo, Happen). I think that’s about it. Most got deleted almost instantly again. But I used Tinder a couple of times over the years. 

Online dating: enter the Tinder buffet.

I said this once and I’m going to say it again: people who assume that they’re going to find the one on Tinder are a bit delusional. It’s possible though but the ones that found the one already knew each other before and just reconnect through Tinder (more on this later). Looking for the one on Tinder is like going to an all you can eat buffet and claiming that you’ll only eat one dish. We all know that you’re going to pig out until you reach a food coma. There are just too many options and people like to keep their options open these days. This is where a problem arises for me. I don’t have time for all that shit. It’s a huge achievement if I send a person more than 5 texts in a day.

Most people talk to 5 or more people and guess what… they’re all fun and beautiful and so on. Suddenly you’ve got the one times 5. I always wonder where they find the time to talk to so many people in a row. The abundance hurts you big time because the next person might always be funnier, more beautiful and so on. You can’t choose and this is killing your happiness. I mean people always find the one and after a week they’re done.

Most people just treat you like an option.

Sometimes you’ll get a match and they won’t even respond. Other times they talk to you and then they just suddenly disappear for some time just to come back sometime later with some lame excuse why they didn’t respond. I think every person with some common sense knows that they just had a failed date instead of a knitting course with grandma. They just crave your attention again and you give it to them so easily. And even if you match you have no clue what their norms and values are. You can only hope that they’re being honest with you. I’m pretty old- fashioned when it comes to this. I only talked to one person at a time when I had Tinder. Because I’ve got a pretty tight schedule and texting 24/7 isn’t incorporated in it.

Besides, I don’t like to be treated as an option. It’s disrespectful and I seriously hate people who disrespect me.

They’re all looking for someone.

I remember that I matched a girl and she asked me why I was on Tinder. I told her that I didn’t have a particular reason, I was open for a relationship but I wasn’t looking for one. She ignored me after that. That was freaking weird. Another thing that I noticed and have heard a lot is that people date, get together, break up and then almost immediately get back on Tinder. I guess the buffet is getting cold. Weird if you ask me. Shouldn’t you learn the lessons first after you break up? Shouldn’t you take some time to work on yourself? Over time I noticed that some people had some stuff to sort out and were far from ready to date but I was on Tinder like that as well in the past.

They were ready to jump into a relationship that was doomed from the start. They were setting themselves up for failure and they didn’t even realize it.

Oh, they all return.

This is something that occurs every single time. Girls that I dated always attempt to come back into my life. Which is always pretty awkward because I mostly figured out why it didn’t work but they never did. I learned the lessons and had grown as a person while they were still the same person. This just never works out.

Online dating is not natural but…

Online dating is weird as fuck. You’re just judging people on their looks and already know that you’re attracted to each other. It sucks because it somehow takes the chase out of the equation. I’ve learned multiple things about online dating and one of them is that I’ve dated girls who I would have never dated if I met them in real life. Not because I didn’t like their looks but just because we had completely different norms and values. I’m also pretty confident that I missed out on girls who were pretty great but didn’t have great pictures. Not everybody goes on a photoshoot to boost their Tinder profile.

I also can say that I would have never met these people without online dating (well besides one girl because we knew each other from back in the days). Those people never come to the places where I even come. So it’s safe to assume that I wouldn’t have met them without Tinder.

You can meet somebody.

Some people reconnect through online dating. I know 2 couples like that. Aside from that, I don’t know people who’ve had a successful relationship through online dating. I’ve met someone like that as well. Those meetups were pretty fun, to be honest.

The blog and MMA make things too complicated.

Eventually, the girls that I date always finds out that I’ve got a blog. This is pretty awkward because my life story is on there and you can also find out what I like and whatnot. So in the past, I have dated 2 girls who acted as I “wanted” it but they weren’t like that. They just acted like that to impress me. I could see through the act eventually but that’s not fun. This sucks.

MMA makes things complicated as well because it’s a brutal sport and most girls judge me based upon that. They don’t get the sport and don’t try to either. They don’t care that the cage is there for safety. So they all claim that taking punches to the head is unhealthy but getting drunk every weekend is perfectly fine. I get the meathead stamp on me before they even know me and they don’t even know that I don’t take a lot of punches to the head. I don’t fight like a brawler. Some guys might brawl, sprawl and crawl but I don’t.

Online dating and commitment issues.

We’re a generation that lives in frustration but doesn’t want a relationship. Well, that’s what most of us claim. Deep down we want it but most of us bail out when it gets too real. You can act like a couple but you can’t say that you’re in a relationship. You can’t meet your friends and family because you’re just going to fast and so on. Most people are deep down inside afraid of commitment and you know why? Because maybe there’s another person on Tinder that might be even more fun. So why even commit? Just have some fun, break up and date again. I mean everybody is doing it so it must be fun right? Spoiler: it’s not.

Breakups cost you a lot of energy because you’ve got to deal with bad emotions, got to learn lessons and so on. It’s even worse if you try to escape this pain. Then you’ll face it twice as hard down the road.

Online dating: Romance roulette, ready to get shot in the head?

Online dating is like playing romance roulette. Because I think it’s safe to say that we want common interests and values. But how do you find these on an app where you need to as good looking as possible? All these matches are based on lust and not on potential love. Relationships based on lust never last long because you’ve got no foundation when things get rocky. I don’t care about all those filtered photos and your fancy one-line description.

Online dating is like playing Russian roulette with all the bullets instead of one.

Bye Bye online dating.

I recently had a break up with a girl whom I met on Tinder. I learned a lot from that experience and I knew that I would never go on Tinder again. It’s awkward and most people are looking for someone whether they like to admit it or not. So now people are wondering how I’ll meet new girls of course. Well, the answer is simple. The old-fashioned way. Back in the day 2 people just met, became friends and saw each other more and more until they eventually got together (I asked an 80-year-old). They had 0 dating apps and could make it work. We have tons of dating apps and all are frustrated as fuck well most of us. I’m happy.

Right now I’m going to focus on my book release, which will release in about a month and training. I’ll also focus on spending more time with friends and catch up with some old friends. Because to be quite frankly honest. The most fun meetups that I’ve ever had were people that I either met all of a sudden or when I was doing things that I like.

I once met a girl in a shopping center where we were both working and we still talk from time to time. I even wrote a blog about it. (read the blog here) In Stockholm, the girl at the reception started asking me why my ears were still pretty (she was referring to the infamous cauliflower ears). We talked every time that I saw her. She even reads my blog from time to time. These weren’t dates but it was fun and at least left a fun lasting memory.

Online dating, the end.

You see online dating has learned me a lot of lessons but in the end, I had to spend a lot of energy on dealing with drama or a breakup or whatever negative emotion popped up. Sometimes they gave me great blogs but I rather spend my energy on things that are worth spending time on like my training, blog, traveling. Because if I meet someone when I train or travel that’s great but it’s not an entire waste of time if it doesn’t work out because I can still enjoy the trip or the training and be good friends with that person because there’s no pressure. You don’t have that with online dating. You can fake a lot when you’re online dating and you can play the act for a long time but you can’t fake it when you meet each other in person for the first time.

This might sound harsh but all the online dates were fun as long as they lasted and then they were done. Most of them ended just as quickly as they started.

Let’s live life.

There are no filters, no fake descriptions in real life. You just have to be you and no one else. Well, you can try to act but you’ll get exposed rather quickly because you won’t come across as authentic. That’s easy to spot. The online apps can give you the sense that you already know a person and you’ll base their behavior on that. It might take some to figure out that they’re not that person. Trust me, I’ve had such an experience and wondered sometimes how I could have been so blind.

All the bad dates gave me some stuff to write about but do you remember the girl from the mall or the girl whom I met on Tinder that I already knew? They also gave me tons to write about (especially the second girl). I even thanked her in my first book because she was a big inspiration during that time. I still talk to both of them because there was no drama involved during all the times we met. As it should be!

Alex, aren’t you just frustrated by online dating?!

I get that some people might assume this but not I’m not. I still believe in true love and one of my training partners just noticed that I look as happy as before I dated the last girl. So it’s safe to say that I have way too much going on in my life to be sad. I just don’t see a reason why I would be sad or frustrated. Life goes on and so do I. So online dating might work for some people because they like the attention and the buffet but I don’t. It’s great for people who’ve got a lot of time or are bored (I only swiped when I didn’t have anything better to do). But I’m mostly always doing something and I don’t get that people are bored. I mostly even had to force myself to go on Tinder.

But hey do what you want. You can even pay to meet unlimited people. That should be fun!

Finding true love.

I might not have found true love yet but I know one thing for sure. I’ll have lived life and have to build a great life when I do. It’ll be a less frustrating journey with tons of great experiences and that’s what life’s all about. Nobody wants to hear how many frustrating dates or sex partners you’ve had. In the end, the only thing that counts is that you live a life worth living and that’s what I’m focusing on right now. I’ll live for 2 months in Thailand this summer if everything goes well. So fuck online dating, I’m going to enjoy life and remain happy.

A poem about online dating.

Hey Tinderella why don’t you hold my umbrella?!

Every week you meet the one and second later you claim you’re done.

Then you cry and minutes later you retry.

You’re like Rachel and Ross but your date like a boss.

You’re miserable as fuck because of all the people you’ve got to duck.

You never learn a lesson so eventually, you’ll need more than one therapy session.

I never dated Kate Moss but I rhyme like a boss.

This is the end and you’re still a bellend.

Because son, online dating is done.

Are you feeling the rage now that the Alpha is out of his cage?

Merry fucking Christmas.

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Till next time

Alex

 

 

 

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