Misery loves company. It’s a great quote but I think it’s widely misunderstood, to be honest. Most people assume that it’s a sign that some people just need a shoulder to cry on. Well, this can be true since sometimes people are so stuck that they can’t see the whole anymore but this is not the real meaning of the quote. Deep down inside you know this. Just look at your own life. Do you attract people with tons of problems? Do they come to you as soon as they have problems (once again)? I know that this isn’t the case for me. People never call me to talk for hours about their problems. We meet up and sometimes some personal issues come up but then we reflect on it. We don’t do it as others do.
To this day on I haven’t met a single person that has solved a problem by complaining about it. You can correct me if I’m wrong on this one.
We should change this quote in my opinion. The quote is correct but “Misery wisely picks its company” sounds a lot better if you ask me. Let me explain.
Misery loves some company.
Ever seen how miserable people act? They seek a shoulder to cry on but they’re very picky about who they choose. They’ll always make sure that they chose a person who’s not optimistic at all. The reason why is very simple. Their thinking is ego-bound. They have problems and you have to listen to them. You have to share their pain for as long as they want. They don’t want to solve the problem, they just want to share the pain. Those people don’t realize that the cure for the pain is in the pain itself. Sharing the pain with others won’t solve it. These people will start to be negative as well. They’ll feel drained because being negative is freaking tiring. That’s the point of this whole meet up. They want to drag people down to their level to feel better.
But it won’t make them happy, it’ll make you unhappy.
So what happens if you don’t share the misery you ask? Well, this is where it gets funny.
Misery loves some company. Don’t care, don’t share.
So what happens when you don’t want to share. Well, the miserable people will snap at you. They’ll become really angry. Even if you give them the solution. Crazy isn’t it. You see at one point in time people’s pain becomes self-inflicted. You don’t always choose your problems but you’re in control of how long they last. Some people keep on doing it because it makes sure that they get attention. That’s why I still claim that you should avoid negative people like the plague. They’ll eventually drop you anyway. They’ll look for people who’re “better understanding”. So this means that they’ll surround themselves with people whom they can drag to their level.
I mean why would you try to be uplifted by others if you can drag them down?
A rule that I’ll never forget.
Ever read my “two strikes and you’re out” blog post? This is something that a lifeguard uses as well. People who drown mostly panic in such a way that they endanger the life of the lifeguard. Can you guess what they do when this happens? They kick the person away and tell them to relax or that they can’t be saved. So what’s the lesson here? That it’s better to lose one life than two.
So what does this have to do with the negative people you ask? Well, don’t try to be the person who’s always available when miserable people call you. You might think that you’re doing a noble act but is it? It isn’t, it’s stupid! Don’t sacrifice your mental health to make others happy. You might think that you lift them but they drag you down. Looks at people’s intention and you can choose to help based on that.
In conclusion: misery loves some company.
Run when misery knocks at the door. Run as far as possible. This is the one thing that you should take away from this whole blog. This is from my personal experience. People who want to solve a problem mostly solve the problem themselves.
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Alex
Preach it brutha!
Always!