There is a saying that goes like “you either win or learn”. I agree with that one. You will learn a lot from losing a fight, probably more than you can even imagine. That doesn’t mean that it doesn’t suck though. On the 21st of February, I was sitting in the back of the stadium, devastated with a calf that was as big as my quad muscle. I was in a lot of pain as soon as my adrenaline levels dropped. Walking was not an option so eventually, they had to carry me outside the stadium and drive me to my place. The whole time I was wondering how I had been able to finish that fight. My leg blew up in the second round and I went the full 5 rounds. So there I was in my bed with a leg that I couldn’t move and a second loss on my record.
Losing sucks but the feeling of embarrassment is way worse.
I lost my first fight by decision in January. After the fight, a lot of people told me I did well but in reality, I knew I didn’t perform to what I’m capable of. In that fight, it took me 4 rounds to get my rhythm going. Sadly enough way too late. At the end that loss was a huge relief for me. I lost but that wasn’t the end of the world. I cared way more about my performance to be honest. That stung for a very long time.
How to apply this to life: there will be times where you will embarrass yourself. Use that feeling as motivation to get better. It is there for a reason, I would be a shame if you let it go to waste.
Most people work harder not smarter after losing.
Once you lose everybody wants to be your coach even if they’re not capable of coaching. The feedback I got was “run more” or “work harder”. Now all of that seems like good advice but cardio wise I was fine in my second fight. I just had a hole in my game and someone exposed it. This wouldn’t have been fixed if I just had run more. I had to go back to the drawing board and cut out all the noise in my life. That is what I did before my third fight.
How to apply this to life: nobody is perfect and we all have to learn along the journey. Sometimes you have to sit down and reflect on what went. Sometimes people will give you good advice that you can apply but in the end, you also have to look deep down inside, be honest with yourself and tell yourself what you did wrong.
You can improve drastically in a short period.
I got a new fight offer pretty quickly after my first loss and was in the gym 5-6 hours a day for 5 days a week. So I would do one group session and then work on my own in the afternoon. I was making sure that I improved where I was exposed in my second fight. I was confident going into that third fight and the plan was to take him out on the 3rd round. Sadly enough I injured myself in the second round but my performance was way better. I was like a different person in that ring. I got an ovation when they carried me outside of the stadium. It was because I put up a show for the people and they appreciated it. They knew I gave it my all and lost on points. Right now I’m working on the things I did wrong in my 3rd fight and I’ll come out even better in my next fight. It’ll be Alex 2.0
How to apply this to life: I was a different person in the ring in just a month. This also goes for self- development. Here in Thailand, there is not a lockdown here but the gyms are closed. So I set a good routine and cleaned up my act even more. People are starting to notice that. But you have a lot of time on your hands right now as well. Use it wisely because you’re going to come out of this Coronavirus quarantine. The only question is how you come out of it. Better or worse?
Losing is part of the game. This is what you signed up for.
People are weird when they try to achieve things. They always assume success but never think about the things that could go wrong. 2 days after my fight someone told me “you were kind of absent the first day after your loss but you seem fine today”. I never complained and cried about it because this is what I signed up for. People don’t seem to realize that 100% of the people who fight want to win. Only 50% of them will actually win.
The same goes for an injury. This is what I signed up for. Why would I complain about something that I knew could happen?!
How to apply this to life: vulnerability is not a strength. I’m honest about the fact that it sucked but I don’t act like a crybaby. This is what I signed up for, I could happen and it happened so I own it. Most people are just looking for attention when things go wrong and they never own it. Why would you complain about something that could happen? Were you ill-prepared? You’d be surprised how fast you can bounce back if you own it.
99% of people don’t care about you.
Some people will celebrate when you face adversity, others will feel bad for you and others just won’t care. This is the reality of life. 99% of the people don’t care who wins a fight. They just want to be entertained. They’ll put you on a pedestal when you win and drop you when you lose.
How to apply this to life: Look at the people who support you when you have a setback in life. Some people who support you will surprise you and others won’t be there while they promised to be there. You can learn a lot about other people and yourself just by having a loss in life.
Life goes on after losing.
Losing sucks but life goes on. The globe keeps spinning and you’re still alive. It was probably not as bad as you ever imagined.
How to apply this to life: People are sometimes devastated by a loss for a longer period of time. They just can’t get over it. Just keep this in mind: “If the worst thing that happens to you in your life is that you lose a fight, then you’re doing alright”. It’s all a matter of perspective, there are things that could happen to you that are way worse. So ask yourself the following question: “is what happened to me really that bad or am I just making this way bigger than it is?!”. Life goes on and you have to do the same thing.
Don’t forget to buy my latest book: “The Year Of The Alpha: 366 Lessons On Adding Meaning To Your Life! It’ll take your life from Zero To Alpha. (you can buy it here)
Till next time
Alex
