Alex, are you even to get? I got this question on a Saturday night at a party. I had no clue where the question came from, to be honest. People just like to get philosophical after midnight or when they’re drunk. The combination might work as well. So I joked about it and said that I was according to Facebook. So this question was asked by a good friend but I would have been a lot different if this was asked by a girl whom I dated. I’ll explain in a minute. So I’m going to divide this post into 2 parts. The first part will be why some guys seem unavailable and the second part will be about girls who like to play hard to get. I can guarantee you that it’ll be entertaining.
It’s no joke because from time to time I like to provoke.
Are you hard to get or not to get at all? The ex- files
So most guys chase girls like a boss. They just want to get laid so they’re pretty easy. They put forth the effort and act like a nice guy to get the job done. The truth is that they’ve got no clue on what they want. These guys just jump from relationship to relationship but they don’t learn anything from it. They assume that they’re doomed because they keep on dating the same kind of girl. But some guys learn one or multiple lessons from their broken relationship(s). Like I learned that I had to work on myself and that I needed someone that does effort. You either put forth the effort or you don’t. You can’t fake it. Most people hate to work for something. They want it the easy way. So this will end in an unhappy marriage with a bad sex life.
I don’t want that and I can’t imagine that someone wants it. That’s why I and some other guys take a slower approach to dating. Good things come to those who wait and work hard. That’s how life works, too bad that most people don’t get it.
Let’s go back to Saturday night one last time. Not to get at all?
Can you remember that I said that it would be a whole different story if this would have been asked by a girl whom I dated? Can you guess why? Because she would have meant something completely different. You just have to read between the lines. Her real question would have been something like this: “why do I have to put forth the effort for you?”. You have to put forth the effort from both sides of course. But that’s the base of a great relationship. I don’t want to end up a relationship where we both get into a comfort zone. Never settle once you’ve got what you want. You’ll wake up with a divorce if you sleep on a relationship. Do what you always did: put forth the effort. I’m all about that hard work.
But Alex what if I don’t want to put forth the effort at all after I’m in a relationship? Well, enjoy your divorce when you’re in your 40’s my friend.
Are you hard to get or not to get at all? Let’s talk about women
Women have always been hard to get. I once heard the grandmother of a buddy of mine talk about it. It was pretty entertaining. I just doubt that a part of our generation has a clue about what they’re doing. Sure you need to be hard to get but there’s a point where you could stop it. I’ve heard women claim that they’re too hard to get. Maybe they should realize that they should stop playing hard to get when they meet a great guy. Or maybe you should stop playing dumb games. They shot themselves in the foot and they didn’t even realize it.
Are you hard to get or not to get at all? Stop playing dumb games
Some weird dating rules are floating around these days. Things like to look for signs or pretend that you’re busy. How can you pretend that you’re busy? Is that a part of being hard to get? So you rather be alone and bored than to meet up with someone you like? That’s weird. You either have shit to do or you don’t. It’s that easy. Yeah yeah, I get it, you want to feel important but that’s just to serve your ego. People will notice that you’re just pretending after a while.
What if she’s always busy
Some women have a busy lifestyle. They play sports, have other hobbies, go out all the time and have tons of friends. I hate to break it to you but you can’t be together with someone like that. So you have to set priorities in life. You just can’t have it all. You have to sacrifice things to make sure that you can make everything work. Being in a relationship means that you’ll see friends less or even lose friends/hobbies. Setting those priorities is a sign of maturity. You can never make everybody happy. You can only make yourself happy. It may sound selfish but that’s just how it is. You are in charge of your own life and happiness.
But beware it will happen eventually. People move in together, get a job and they just disappear. In the end, you’ll probably end up with 3 to 5 good friends. 5 is a lot. Some people realize this at one point but other people have no clue what happened when they’re suddenly alone with nothing to do on a Saturday night. You can’t date such a person and you can’t wait till they realize it. Life goes on so that’s what you should do as well.
Stop looking for signs! You’re not hunting aliens
I always wondered where all the “look for signs bullshit” came from. Things like look for dilated pupils (you might look like a creep when you do this and light plays a factor as well) or she’s interested when she plays with her hair (she could be bored as well). Man, these signs could lead to awkward situations. People tend to focus so much on dumb shit that they’re not present in the moment. Look for a connection instead of signs. Dating isn’t rocket science: let me explain how dating should go in a nutshell. People make stuff way too complicated.
Dating in a nutshell
Meet up and have a great time
Had a great time? Good.
Meet up again if there’s a great connection and keep doing it
Don’t play games, be a gentleman
Be nice don’t play a fake alpha male act
Get happy together and have awesome sex
Argue from time to time but always solve it
Always keep on doing effort
Make handsome babies (if you want kids off course)
Marry (only the right wife for the sake of your life)
Stay together till you die without being in a sexless marriage
The end
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Till next time
Alex
That was good! Especially your dating guide at the end.
The most important thing in a long term relationship and especially a marriage is the commitment to work through your problems no matter how rocky the road gets. That’s bigger than love because the feeling of “love” changes from day to day.
I like too that you pointed out that her playing with her hair could also mean she’s bored. Good stuff!
thanks man.
I’ve heard that one before (about the feeling that changes). But you’re right. The best marriages have been throught storms and worked their way out of it. You can’t deny hard work.
Yeah some guys spent to much time on youtube before they go on a date. Things get awkward if you’re looking for signs and completely misread them