Let’s talk about self-improvement here for a minute. I recently got a comment where a guy told me that he noticed that I critiqued the system or certain behaviors but never gave a solution. Well, this is certainly true to a certain point. I indeed rarely offer the solution and I always make sure that you need to read between the lines when I give it to you. I mean wouldn’t it be boring if I told you what you should do to get your life in check? There is no guide to life since we all face different problems. Most people neglect this in my opinion. A lot of people seem to think that a certain outcome always has the same reason. I can guarantee you that a lot of roads lead to the same destination so a lot of situations can lead to the same problem.
But self- improvement is pretty simple once you’ve got the hang of it. Everything is simple if you don’t turn it into rocket science.
The only guide to self-improvement that you’ll ever need.
I have to tell you one thing before we start. This guide is not the miracle which you were hoping on. It’s just the truth and you won’t be able to make the big change if you don’t realize this.
Step 1: realize that you’ve got a problem. It’s a crucial part of self-improvement.
This is the hardest thing that you’ve got to deal with when you want to change your life. It’s easy to have a problem but it’s really hard to acknowledge it. The problem will only get bigger and bigger if you keep on waiting. So you can keep on lying all day to yourself but you’re just making it harder for yourself in the end. It’s all about the little things in life since these add up in the end. So are you really happy or are you completely faking it? Challenge your own beliefs and ask the right questions. You might be surprised by how little you know of yourself. Let us take a look at an example.
Let’s take a look at a common lifestyle without self-improvement.
So I did what most people did in their teens. I woke up to go to school and I hated it. During the weekends I slept long, spent tons of time on social media, went out in the evening and only enjoyed it when I was drunk. I thought that I loved this life but I hated it. I just didn’t want to admit it and there are more people like this. So I was constantly convincing myself that I liked it because I was just doing what others did.
But do you like it? Are the masses always right? Have you ever questioned why you’re even doing this? Is this the way to solve all your problems? Is escaping reality the right thing to do? Do you like wasting all that time on social media? Wouldn’t it be possible to be to live a better life if you took action?! Are you finding joy in what you’re doing right now?
Step 2: take action right aka try, eat, fail, don’t repeat.
So now you’ve got to tackle the problem and some problems are easier to solve than others. This is just the trial and error phase. You just try to solve it and keep on trying until it works. There’s no golden rule here. My way is a way but not the way. There are tons of ways to solve the same problem. I get it, you want to have an easy answer because you’re claiming that it’s really hard to change your life or behavioral pattern. Well, it is hard but you’re acting like a victim right now so you’re only making it harder for yourself. Do you think that it was easy for me? It wasn’t but I never complained about it. The only way is forward so I just kept on going until I solved a problem.
You have to fail forward.
Most people hate failing because they have the wrong perception of failure. Failing isn’t bad, it’s the way you look at it that’s bad. You tried and it didn’t work out but what did you expect? You’re pretty delusional if you think that you’ll solve everything within the first attempt. Just keep on trying until you fix the problem or can change your lifestyle. You’ll be amazed at what you’re capable of if you want something. But that’s when a simple but hard question arises: how badly do you want it?
Step 3: It’s back to step one right now. That’s self-improvement.
I once wrote a blog about the stages of life. I always assumed that happiness and unhappiness were following each other up but recently I realized something. This blog was written while I was quite unhappy but I wouldn’t have been unhappy if I would have accepted the problem as I arose. Well, I wouldn’t have been that unhappy. It still might have stung though. Months later I faced a similar obstacle and it didn’t bother me because I accepted it way sooner. I was like “it’s not that bad”.
The only guide to self-improvement that you’ll ever need.
You need to read if you want to practice self-improvement. Why? Because these books are mostly written by people who’ve been through a lot. You can read about their experiences and learn lessons from that. It’s always easier to learn from other people’s mistakes. Self- improvement books might also give you a big reality check. You can’t treat these books like your average college/university books. I’ve seen people nail tests in those instances because they were great at memorizing things but they admitted that they didn’t get what they’ve learned. These books force you to read between the lines. I’ve seen some really “smart people” get frustrated after reading Think And Grow Rich.
They didn’t get the book because it didn’t tell them what to do. Maybe we should get away from this mindset. No book or person can solve your problems. They might help but in the end, only you can do it. You wasted great advice if you didn’t act on it.
Ready for self- improvement?
I’m pretty sure that some people are frustrated right now because they didn’t get what they wanted. They didn’t get all the answers they needed but is that even possible? Do you think that I can solve everyone’s problems in a single blog post? I just can’t because some people are facing things that I haven’t faced yet or might never face at all. All I can do is give you a guide on how I deal with obstacles in life.
Don’t forget to check out my book. The ones who read it liked it.
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Till next time
Alex
