Are you facing a breakup? Or are you still struggling to get over a breakup? They suck because you’ll face a lot of unwanted feelings. Most people don’t know how they should handle them properly and that’s why their life turns into a living hell. It’s a long time ago since I had a breakup myself but I still know what I did to get over it. Well eventually off course. It’s not that hard if you’re able to reflect on the whole matter but that’s what most people don’t do. They blame the other person, which is easy. Or they say stuff to boost their ego. Ego is your worst enemy my friend. You’re an idiot if you’re not capable of realizing this.
Anyway, I assume that you got dumped. Otherwise, you wouldn’t read this post. You might feel like a zero but by the end of the post, I’ll be your hero. Well, not your hero but it sounded pretty badass.
Facing a breakup: become self- aware
Most people just grab tons of booze when they’re facing a breakup. It’s a subtle form of escapism and society approves it off course. Be happy drunk they said, it’ll be fun they said. Spoiler alert it isn’t fun at all. It’s a sign that you can’t handle reality. You’ll get a reality check eventually and it’ll be a lot harder if you keep avoiding it (trust me on this one). You need to face your thoughts. The best way to do it is by going for a long walk. No phone, headphones, music or podcast allowed. Just you and your thoughts.
You’ll have to deal with all your demons one by one but you’ll be able to solve them all if you’re able to reflect on them. That’s how I deal with failure, mistakes that I made and adversity of course.
So now you’ve got a choice. You take the problems head-on or you’ll face them when they’re a lot worse.
Never make this mistake
Never try to escape your problems by working more. What do you mean Alex? Well some people go to the office and work overtime and work even more when they get home. This is extremely dangerous since you’re neglecting the negative feelings. This might end in burnout and then you’ll have to face those negative feelings anyway. You’ll just have to face them with less energy. People make this mistake all the time. So remember: the cure for the pain is in the pain. Escaping your problems won’t help you.
Facing a breakup: master the art of turning the odds in your favor
A lot of people want to win their ex back. It’s freaking ridiculous if you ask me. I devoted a whole post about this matter for a reason. You just want what you can’t have. It’s that easy. Most people just don’t realize it and get obsessed with their ex (the poor bastards). I’m pretty sure that you wouldn’t have the same opinion if your ex would want you back.
So you’re single but that’s a good thing. Start working towards your best self. Be sure that you’re constantly evolving. Read books and forget about the looks (just don’t dress like a bum). Try a new sport; find a new hobby and so on. Just make sure that you’re stepping out of your comfort zone.
You can cry all the time because you’re alone or you can use that time wisely. It’s all up to you. You can only be a better boyfriend for your future girlfriend if you learn from your mistakes in your past relationship(s).
Facing a breakup: Do not, I repeat, do not go on Tinder
Some guys join Tinder 2 days after they faced a breakup. It’s pretty selfish since you’re looking for another person to make you less lonely. You rely on others for your happiness which is stupid. Guess how that’ll end. In a relation that’s doomed from the start. Suddenly you’ll have to face 2 breakups instead of 1. That’s when shit will hit the fan. Or you keep on making that mistake of course. Some people just can’t think straight. I met people who complained about 3 exes in a single story. I can only say one thing to those people: you’ve got problems with women my friend and you need to fix them. How can you even complain about 3 exes at the same time? Pretty fucked up if you ask me. That’s what I call avoiding your problems like a boss.
Facing a breakup: avoid social media
Do you know who uses social media all the time?
- people who’re bored
- people who’re frustrated because they’re single (quotes and memes incoming)
- couples who’re unhappy but pretend to be otherwise on social media #livingthelife
- people who can’t be alone
So what do all these people have in common? They have nothing to offer. They’ll just make you feel miserable with their fake lives or negative mindset. You’re either happy or you’re not. Social media won’t change that.
Facing a breakup: she’s not the one
I remember when I had my first real breakup. I thought she would be the one and that we would grow old. It sucked at first but then I came to a point in time where I was a lot happier. I suddenly realized that she wasn’t the one at all. I just made that up. Pick the right wife for the sake of your life. Your ex isn’t the one, trust me on this one.
The idea of “the one” is also very toxic. There are good ones and bad ones, not “the one”. Breaking up with “the one” will make you suffer because it implies that there is no one else on planet earth that will be a good match for you. That’s just stupid. Some people just find a good match earlier than others. That doesn’t mean you won’t find a good match. Might just take some time or a couple or more breakups.
Facing a breakup: accept the pain
A break up hurts for a week if you take the bull by the horns. You face tons of bad feelings, maybe drink too much if you drink and that’s it. You’re a human being so it’s normal to face those feelings. It’s just up to you on how long they last. Some people never get over it. They’re broken down by something stupid like a breakup. It’s just a breakup! Get your shit together. You won’t die. Yes, you’ve read it correctly; your life will go on no matter what.
Facing a breakup: you’ll meet someone new eventually
Most people don’t seem to realize this but you’ll meet someone new eventually. It might take time since you can’t predict when you meet someone new. It might be next year or maybe somewhere a bit further down the road. I know a guy who was single for 4 years. He didn’t even date during that period nor did he go out all the time. Suddenly he met someone new. Fun fact: he didn’t have Tinder. Moral of the story: you don’t need a dating app nor do you need to go in desperado mode. You’ll meet someone new and suddenly you’ll realize that you’ve wasted a lot of time crying or swiping for nothing. Or dating tons of the wrong girls. You’ll even forget about your ex in no time.
Why? Because it’s never worth crying over spilled milk.
Get a free audiobook and a 30-day trial
Subscribe if you haven’t already
It’s now possible to follow me on Patreon as well. It’s a place where you can support me for all the free content that I share.
You can also follow me on snapchat for a look behind the scenes. My username is alexdw92
Till next time
Alex
