Most people claim that feelings or motivation isn’t there when they have to do something. There is some kind of fear that’s imprisoning people’s mind and it’s a frustrating process. So you can know what you want and realize what you should do but still end up doing nothing. Did you realize that all our decision are based on our feelings? It’s all based on how we feel in the moment but there a problem in this kind of thinking. Most people will never be present in the moment. You need to unleash the power of now and learn to use your mind. Mel Robbins discussed this in her book The 5 Second Rule. Buy it here.
This all sounds great but I’m going to cover a version from my own. I call it the 4-second window and I’ll explain it in the end.
Feelings: Do you feel like……..?
Going to MMA when you know that you’re going to be hit, kicked and chocked out? Well, I would say yes because I like it. Most people find it hard to find the motivation to go to the gym over and over again knowing that they’ll get hit. They’re afraid but do you know what’s on the other side of pain? There’s something good on the other side. Martial arts make you humble but most people just don’t realize it.
Writing while you’re sick and have a neck injury? Hell no. But did I do it? Hell yes!
Ending that bad relationship that’s extremely toxic? You probably don’t feel like it but you have too. It’s a lot better to be with someone that likes you.
Doing something while you feel sick? Do it anyway since your mind is always stronger than your body.
Watching a reality show? Don’t do it because it won’t help you to escape your problems.
Reading every day? You’d better do it or you’ll get dumb and dumber.
Getting up every day at 6 am? It’s not the best feeling in the world but it’s worth it.
Your decisions are based on your feelings and they’re robbing you of the opportunity to grow. These 5-second windows make or break your life. You see the right time does not exist. This is a myth. Normally, you feel insecure and so on. It’s all okay but you can still try something new. You’ll slowly turn in to a more confident person.
Feelings and the 5-second window
So you’ve got a 5-second window between the fact that you don’t feel like doing something and the fact that you take action or not. 5 seconds that’s it and most people wait a lot longer and eventually don’t do a single thing. They will bail out on everything and give up everything. It’s a modern-day habit which most people don’t seem to understand. They don’t procrastinate, they just don’t get around doing anything. It’s so sad because most people their 5-second window turns into a 5-hour window of doing nothing.
People just have the tendency to pull back when they actually should lean into things (sounds like some dating advice as well). Your mind is starting to hesitate and it’s a bad habit. It robs you from some great experiences. There’s no situation where you should hesitate. Even not when someone has hurt your feelings and you’re afraid to say it. Say it, just do it.
Feelings and the learning process
Do you know when you’ll learn the most? This is when you’re not feeling like it. You’ll learn a lot more when you don’t feel like it. You’re extremely delusional if you never feel like not going to practice. You’re either lying or not training a lot. I never skip practice if I don’t feel like it. It doesn’t occur a lot but it has occurred in the past. Sparring when you don’t feel like it is extremely hard because you’re thoughts are constantly on. You get hit and suddenly two thoughts are floating in your head. You live in the past because you were hit and you live in the future because you don’t want to get hit. So you’re feeling anxious and depressed at the same time. All of this happens in just a few seconds.
So now you need to turn your brain off. You need to get back to a state where you’re present. Most people don’t get why but I’ll tell you why. You’ll want to get out and you’ll overcommit. This will result in the fact that you’ll get KO’d if you’re facing a good counter striker. So how do we solve this problem?
Feeling and the 4-second rule
So we learned that you’re fucked as soon as you’ve passed the 5-second window and that’s why I turned it into a 4-second window. I made sure that I don’t pass that final second without doing what I have to do. There’s no time to snooze when the alarm goes off. There’s no valid reason to skip practice (besides being injured off course). Your feelings are misguiding you and it’s time to put an end to it. So in sparring, I back up and make sure that I’m at a safe distance. I breathe deeply in and out and loosen my arms.
That’s it, after that it’s go- time. It takes roughly 4 seconds to breathe in and out but those 4 seconds make a great difference. You’ll feel a lot better after you’ve finished whatever you didn’t want to do. Just don’t be afraid of failure because failure is a part of the learning process.
Be kind and embrace the grind. You’ll be so much happier when you’re productive. That’s all there’s to it. So what are you waiting for? Just breath in, breath out and do whatever you don’t want to do.
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Till next time
Alex
