Are you feeling sad and lonely on Valentine’s day? Man, that must be a bummer but I’m not a part of that group and yes I’m single and I’m single for a long time. It must be 4 years now. I had this problem as well in the past but then I realized that I was the one who created it. So I solved it off course but that’s what most people don’t do. They can’t be alone and that’s the start of a lot of problems. There’s another big problem and that’s that their ego can’t handle the fact that they’re alone. They don’t get that they’re single.
Let me put it this way: ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity. You won’t get a lot out of life if you’ve got a giant ego. Anyway, let’s take a look at Valentine’s day and why it shouldn’t affect your mood.
Valentine’s day: it doesn’t make any sense.
I remember my last Valentine’s day. I released a blog about dating where I questioned if we’re taking the wrong approach. Long story short: patience is a virtue when you’re dating someone else. You don’t have to kiss at the end of a first date. That’s just too predictable and too cliché. Why don’t you break the rules and beat the fools! Aside from that I read and took a long walk with a dog from a shelter. Oh and I trained off course. In the end, it’s just a day like any other. Yes, you’ve read it correctly it’s a day like any other. You’re just mindlessly following the herd and you don’t even know it. You’re sad because “everybody” is celebrating Valentine’s day. You’re just living in a made-up reality that doesn’t even come close to the real reality.
There are more people single than you might realize. You’re just focusing on what you can’t have and that’s why you’re looking at all those couples who’re celebrating at this very instant. So you’re the source of your misery.
Enter a good buddy of mine.
On that day a buddy of mine got into his first fight with his girlfriend. I liked his reasoning behind it. He told me that they did the effort for each other every single day so they took a day off that day. He also said that most people do it the other way around. He’s right you know, the best couples mostly don’t celebrate Valentine’s day or they don’t make a big deal out of it.
You know why? Because every day is Valentine’s day to them. They work hard to maintain a healthy relationship.
You could do something small of course but couples who’re in a bad relationship make it a lot bigger than it seems. I would say the same thing if I’m in a relationship. Tonight I go training and I would have done the same thing if I wasn’t single. It’s all about doing what you love and loving what you do. The best thing would be training with a girlfriend of course. That’s Valhalla if you ask me.
Valentine’s day: enter the less happy couples.
Less happy couples make a big thing about Valentine’s day. They make grand gestures to each other because they’ve got something to make up for. I mean who gives a car as a Valentine present? What’s wrong with those people? I mean if you rarely do effort you could at least do it once a year right? Buy her a boat or a jet next time if you’re intending to decrease your effort over time. You get where I’m going.
It’s like saying that you’re going to get into shape but only you work out once a year. Good luck with that. Grand gestures, good couple and valentine’s day just don’t fit into one sentence. It’s like saying healthy junk food. Or fun run, ain’t nothing fun about that.
Well, I like running since I started doing MMA but you get the point I guess. The less happy couple can showboat all they want but what does it matter?! They’re both stuck in their comfort zone and can’t get out of it. They got into a relationship and got comfortable. They’re like:” well I’ve done all the effort and I’m in a relationship. Let’s stop doing it.” I would advise you to try that same approach when you finally get into shape. You’ll notice that it won’t last long before you’re out of shape again. The same goes for your relationship. You probably started as friends who didn’t have sex so guess how it’ll end… You’ll end up as friends with zero benefits.
Let’s celebrate.
A typical Valentine’s day goes like this. They both buy each other little gifts, stuff like flowers and chocolate, go to an overcrowded restaurant to sit silently in front of each other. Don’t forget to check in everywhere you go! They come home and have some sloppy sex because they have to of course and the next day it’s back to normal. Would you envy this kind of relationship? That doesn’t sound like fun if you ask me. Unhappiness makes people do some crazy dumb shit and being miserable is one of them.
Rule of thumb: people who can’t be alone are in some bad company. Just think about it. You’re single on Valentine’s day what else do you’ve got to do? You can think about it! Now that’s how you turn the odds in your favor.
But Alex my friends are in a great relationship.
Well, why aren’t you happy for them? You’ll meet someone eventually but being miserable all the time won’t make someone come any faster to you. You can’t force these things. It happens when it happens, that’s it. Be a happy joyful person for as long you’re single. You’ll attract someone just like that.
But you could take a different approach when you’re in a new relationship. Why don’t you do something like most people do on Valentine’s day on a random day?! It’s a lot more surprising and at least you’re not following the herd so you won’t end up in an overcrowded restaurant. You could do something small on Valentine’s day. It’s all about breaking the rules and beating the fools, remember?
Set a goal and work towards that if you’re single. It’ll fulfill you in no time and time flies by once you’re in the zone.
Valentine’s day: conclusion.
So is it that bad? Well, at least you’re not pretending to be extremely happy and having the time of your life. You’re miserable and you admit it so that’s a little bit of progress I guess. At least you’re honest. Get your act together since it’s just a day like any other. Enjoy the things that you usually enjoy and make the most out of it. Life’s way too short to be miserable.
Every day?
Every day should be Valentine’s day. And I mean it. A lot of guys don’t do the effort and claim the same thing. You need to do an effort every single day. Your girlfriend will probably don’t even think about it in that way. You’ll do the effort for the right person since it will feel natural.
Biggie and smalls
In the end, you need to realize that the small things matter instead of the big things. Most people just can’t appreciate them though. The only thing that’ll remind me that it’s Valentine’s day is this blog but I’ll forget it pretty quickly since I’ve got other stuff to do. I’m going to choke some people out in training. Tonight I’ll do 50 shades Of Brazilian Ji Jitsu. Sounds extremely romantic, doesn’t it?
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Till next time
Alex
