What an ugly word
Almost everybody is afraid of failure. They’re scared to death when it comes to trying new things. What if I fail, what if this and what if that. They ask themselves thousands of questions but they forget to ask the most important one. You should full your mind with positive thoughts instead of fueling it with self-doubt.
You can ask one question that will change the whole outcome of whatever you attempt. Why didn’t you try again when you reached a point of failure? How can you expect to be good at something if you never failed? Sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it?
“My success isn’t the result of arrogance. It’s the result of belief” McGregor
“If failure is not an option, then neither is a success” Seth Godin
Change your perspective of failure
Change of perspective
The way you see things can affect everything. How you see a half-filled glass of milk can says a lot about you. Well, that’s what all people want you to believe of course, it’s just a glass of milk stops bitching about it. There are better ways to test other people’s mentality. I’ve heard the most negative guys claiming that glass was half- full.
Anyway according to bro science labeling that glass as half-full or half-empty is just a matter of perspective. Having a positive mindset will help you accomplish greater things in life. Having on the other hand a negative mindset will make your life whole a lot harder. Staying in a negative mindset will make you lose more than you think.
You’ll lose friends because they’ll be annoyed by the fact you’re constantly whining. Nobody will choose you to do a project or an important task. You don’t want to end up in that scenario. This is a no bro-science part for your information.
Stop playing the victim and take care of your life and your problems.
Nothing is black or white some people forget there is grey too. People tend to forget that but it’s not their fault, society made it this way so it’s time to break to set things straight and deal with this misconception.
It’s not because you’ve failed that you will be a failure for the rest of your life. People will say “well at least you tried”.
Are you happy with that quote? I hate that quote, it makes you feel like a loser because they portrait you as one.
Do you want it bad enough?
Ask yourself these questions: would you’ve failed if you kept on going for 6 months or even a year? Did you do anything to succeed and did you want it bad enough?
If your answer is yes to the second question I suggest you read it again and stop lying to yourself.
Analyze your project real good; analyze what you did and how and when it went completely wrong.
How I see and deal with “failure”
I don’t see things that go wrong as a failure. I call those setbacks, one step backward means two steps forward. Sometimes you’ll take multiple steps backward but you’ll be able to take a run and jump forward.
You’re calling me optimistic? I call it being realistic and this way of thinking has benefited my life. Setbacks are temporary while seeing things as failure can haunt you forever. Just ask all the people who’re constantly telling the what-if stories. They all claim they COULD have been great but all of them “failed” aka quit too soon.
Why would you go for a bronze medal while there is a golden one?
Take the hit and then hit back twice as hard.
A boxer that’s been hit and falls on his knees isn’t beaten. The body is only beaten when the mind is beaten.
Pushing through is what separates successful people from the ones who fail.
The fact if you succeed is in your mind just like the fact if you fail.
Strive for success; beat your negative thoughts with cold showers if you have to. Hit those thoughts back twice as hard and go for gold.
People will call you crazy and too ambitious but in the end, they’re the ones who will say “I’ve always known you would make it”.
I avoid those people I like to surround myself with people who give me 100% of their support right from the start.
I’d rather “fail” by being ambitious than fail by not trying. “Failing” by being ambitious shows that you’re strong and don’t have a lack of willpower.
Keeping the failure and misery mindset out of your life
Taking risks shows that you have high testosterone, it can also be a sign of stupidity but I’m not going to devote a blog post to that matter. You take the risk and don’t look back at it. You’ve set the goal and keep going for it. Having regrets is a waste of time; you’ll never get any benefits from doing that.
Why should you waste your time in an environment that doesn’t challenge or support you? Why be unhappy at your job or home? You deserve better and you can get better but you’ll have to work for it.
I repeat the last sentence one more time: You deserve better and you can get better BUT you’ll have to work for it. Remember the bold part because that’s where most people get scared and give up. It takes time and you can’t change that part.
I’m surrounded by positive, ambitious people who work hard and have a clear goal in life and I tend to keep it that way.
You have to stop acting like normal people. (read here what I mean with the normal people)
My first class magic act
Ditching all the negative people from my environment changed my life. It was like I performed a real first-class magic act.
POOF and the drama silently disappeared when I snatched with my fingers. The audience was silent but amazed; the magician took a bow and left the stage. I left the drama stage and I left it for good.
This was a big turning point in my life suddenly nobody was doubting me anymore; I was getting more successful in everything I tried. There are still some haters but who cares.
What about the skeptics
Now I have to be honest there will always be haters who envy your ambition, your will to succeed and your mindset to keep pushing no matter what.
You can do two things when you face such people:
- Share your goals and let them give you their best piece of hating
- Work in silence and take revenge by being successful
1. Share your goals and let them give you their best piece of hating
This is tricky because when you share your goals and plans with the wrong person they’ll steal your idea. This is the worst-case scenario but there are more than enough examples of people who gave away a million-dollar idea.
Now let’s assume you share it with good friends who are afraid to steal your idea because they’ve got to invest. These people will constantly remind you that you’re crazy and that you’re going to fail.
Just remember that failure is all in your head and give them your prettiest smile. After the smile you let the silence speak and walk away.
Somebody once told me sharing is caring and I gave him a reply that left him tongue-tied. I said: “yeah your right sharing is caring and that’s why I stopped caring”.
Remember how I left the drama stage? My quote sums it up in one sentence. “You don’t care and I don’t share” it’s as plain and simple as that.
2. Work in silence and take revenge by being successful
When I started this blog only a handful of people knew about it and I knew why I did this.
Most people in college and my class would never understand this. I know they wouldn’t because most of them don’t have a positive and supporting mindset, they just want to work till their retirement and live unhappily ever after.
Now that a depressing perspective.
I’ve had a depression and I never want one again.
Some people became curious after a while because I was writing a lot. Some even threw hate at it but I just turned it into a blog post to show how much I cared about that opinion.
Some even told me I never knew you could write and this one is funny because in school I was really bad at writing. I had to reread my text multiple times and it still was complete crap.
Maybe having higher testosterone made me a better writer or maybe I have the recipe for grandeur like in the movie Limitless.
You can keep guessing what it is and even leave your sleep for it but I’m the only one with the correct answer.
Anyway, what’s your vision on failure? How do you deal with it? Let me know in the comments.
Till next time
Alex
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I use nay Sayers as a motivator. I run into people everyday who tell me I’m going to fail.. But I simply turn it around and use it to fuel the fire of my success
There are nat sayers everywhere but they all turn around so easily