Depression: kick it to the curb once and for all

Depression is probably one of the most difficult things to face and beat in life. It can beat you on your knees and will kick you further if you let it. My life wasn’t exactly a success story in the years before this blog. I was a straight-up loser and I didn’t even realize it. The worst part was that I was the one who created the depression; yes it was for me to take the blame. This could be avoided if I knew what I’m about to share with you.
In my eyes, depression isn’t a natural state of mind. This may sound strange to most people but being so miserable that you want to kill yourself can’t be natural.

Being in a state of complete misery and unhappiness isn’t either. That’s not what life is all about. But there are a lot of people who’re suffering from this state of unhappiness and some of them will never be able to cope with it.
Depression fucks up your whole life without you’ll even realize it. Your mind is constantly on, full of doubts and thoughts and you try to force yourself happy but you just can’t. It doesn’t matter how hard you try.

You keep failing at everything you start with. You start to assume you’re a born loser, born to die with alcohol addiction, desperate and alone. I remember that I had those thoughts at one point and I’m sure that I’m not the only one. It’s pretty difficult to describe the feeling that comes along with depression. Tons of ideas come to my mind as I seek for the perfect description.

A lesson learned after depression

The unhappy state of mind learned me to appreciate the small things in life. You’ll do everything to stay away from that place when you know how it felt to hit rock bottom. There is a place called hell and I’ve seen it for over a year. Most people ask me a question like: “But what about your close friends, parents, and family in general, didn’t they notice anything?” No! That’s the strange part nobody had a clue what was going on.

Everybody assumed that I was happy because I wanted them to believe that I was. I was ashamed about the fact that I faced depression but I’m over that now.  Why should I be ashamed? I conquered it while most people never do.
My mom said that she noticed something different about me about a year after my depression. She said that I looked like somebody who finally enjoyed life.

People don’t link depression to young people and that’s why most of them are ashamed of it. Most people will tell you that this occurs when you’ve got a  midlife crisis. Being young doesn’t equal happiness. That’s a great example of stereotypical thinking. This occurs too often in this world.

That’s where it all goes wrong. You’ll make them believe that you’re happy since they expect it of you. You don’t think ahead, you don’t think about how this will influence your life. You’ll be falling further and further into a black hole, desperate to get out but you don’t see how.

I’m here to show you the mistakes I made so you can get out of it before you’re going to hit rock bottom. It’s also a useful guide if you’re already there.

Depression: how I single-handedly defeated the monster which I created

Realize you’ve got a problem

This is the root of dealing with depression. You can’t beat it if you’re not acknowledging that you’ve got a problem. But there’s a downside to this first step. This is the hardest part of the depression, admitting you’ve got to change something to get your life back on the tracks. You’ll end up with suicidal thoughts or a complete burn out if you keep neglecting the problem at hand. Your body will give you clear signals it doesn’t want to stay in this state. Sometimes it’s better to talk about it than keeping this all to yourself.  Nobody will be able to help you if nobody knows that you’ve got a problem.

During this time I acted like a total asshole to people and I’ve lost friends. I wanted to be alone far away from everything.

Now I know this was a dumb mistake, people will help you when you’re depressed. It’s YOU who has to take the first step and look at the problems. That’s right, it’s you and no one else.

In my case it took quite a while before I figured out all of the causes, yes I had multiple causes but I didn’t see them all right away. The problem is that sometimes people are the problem and this brings us to the second problem. Yes, I’m talking about the energy-sucking vampires that are a part of your life.

Stop putting yourself second.

This is the second thing you need to realize and it’s best you realize this quick. The quicker the better. When you’re depressed you’ve got to deal with low self- esteem. So you’ll freeze whenever people are looking at you wondering what made them watch. You’ll do anything to be in people’s favor, even people that treat you like shit. Cut those people loose; they are the ones who keep pushing you further and further into your deep dark black hole. This is just how people treat others these days, always thinking about themselves. ME ME ME and fuck the rest. Well, I’ve cut them loose and I’m happy that I did it. But I don’t hold grudges towards any of them.

It took me ages before I was able to realize this. I always assumed that helping others or making them happy was a good trait. It’s one of the best there is but you’ve got to watch out for parasites. These people are real bloodsuckers; they’ll suck out all of your energy and they’ll keep doing it until you are burned out or you cut them loose. Choose or lose because there’s no middle road here. Well, there is but they need to make the personal change.

Some of them tried to come back

Some of them even contacted me after I deleted them on Facebook, desperately asking for an explanation. They didn’t get why I did it. Some people don’t know what respect means but I’m okay with it.

Remember this: ALWAYS believe in the good of human nature BUT most people NEVER change.

They’ll try but the masks will fall off as soon as the curtains go down. People are excellent in playing roles, unmask them and prioritize your happiness.

It takes a while before you’ll help people again but after a while, you’ll help the ones who need it. Those are the people who’re grateful for your help. They inject you with the joy of life instead of sucking it out of you.

Avoid the unhappy and the constant complainers

These people claim that they’re born to be unlucky, they’re always the victim. It’s like life hates them. They somehow manage to always get in trouble. They complain when they go to sleep and as soon as they wake up they’ll restart the whole process. I wonder how can you can create more problems while you’re sleeping. It amazes me to this day! Who even wants that?!

It’s normal to have some troubles in life but you have to take action to solve those problems. You keep shooting yourself in the foot and eventually in the leg when you fail to accept those problems. Those people will always complain when they’re in your presence and it’s easy to follow the same path. They will poison your mind and that’s the last thing you want.

You’ll be better off if you surround yourself with positive people. People tell me a lot that I’ve got a positive attitude. That’s how people see me now and I intend to keep it that way. The people who’re constantly complaining should read this post and keep on reading the first part until they realize that they’re the problem. It’s not you, it’s them in most of the cases. They have got a problem.

Check your hormones

Go to your doctor and ask him to test all of your hormones, no exceptions allowed. Keep pushing to get it because most doctors will be skeptical in the beginning. Can you reduce something as complex as depression just too hormonal issues? Yes, it’s possible! You’ll get in a vicious cycle once you’re depressed. All the crucial things in life didn’t matter to me anymore. Suddenly I was eating crappy food instead of healthy food. I had no libido, no morning woods, literally nothing. The sad part was that I didn’t even care until my body gave me a signal that something needed to change.

22 and low testosterone just imagine that. I had to take a huge hit to process this one. It defiantly helped a lot when I started to increase my testosterone to defeat the depression.
So ask yourself the following question: do I have the symptoms of low testosterone?

Avoid excessive alcohol and drugs

I have to admit that I used both of them because they shut down my mind. The only problem was that I needed more and more alcohol to maintain this effect. I was drinking until I had to puke and couldn’t stand on my legs anymore. I did this to escape the negative thoughts. My friends didn’t complain about it since they took pictures. Real class act guys, really the way of dealing with drunk, unhappy people. At one point I assumed that I was going crazy because it was like rush hour in my head. It was a rush hour of negative thoughts and uncertainties.

One of the last times I was drunk was around October 2015. I fell asleep on a couch at a house party after I puked in a buddies whole garden. But I didn’t remember anything, just the ride home. I was hanging over a bucket and admitted to a friend that I wasn’t happy for some time. I don’t know what I’ve told him after that but he never spoke off it again so I guess I didn’t share too much. Either way, I felt sorry for what happened and decided to keep my booze in check.

New Year’s Eve was the last time I was drunk after that. I was drunk and stoned. It was because of a girl I dated and she was playing games which I didn’t realize at the time. I wasn’t strong enough to cope with it so I tried to escape the issue once again. After that night my whole mindset changed, I focused more on testosterone optimization and I’ve got rid of her. Since then my life has been going great but I’ll always remember where I came from.

Never see suicide as a solution

Suicide should never be an option! Life’s too beautiful; don’t end it in this way.

Life is like the most beautiful garden, occasionally there will raise some weed and maybe it will become a plague. You can destroy the whole garden but what’s the point in that? Destroy the weed and save the garden, restore it in his beauty and keep it that way.

Even I thought about ending my life, I didn’t want to be in this world anymore but I was saved by a quote by my grandfather. It was a small quote but it was enough to give me hope.  My grandfather labeled me as a fighter and I wanted to keep it that way. To this day onward people still say that I’ve got one of the strongest personalities they’ve ever met. I’m helping people to become more positive in life and that’s what I’ll do till I die. I’m done being selfish, it’s time to help others.

Realize you’re not alone

It took me a while to open up about my depression, some off my friends know a part of my story but besides me, there is only one person who knows the whole story. Multiple people realized that there was something different about me so eventually I opened up about my depression. Suddenly friends starting telling me they had been depressed too. Suddenly I wasn’t the only young person with this issue and that was a relief.

Get away from places that make you unhappy

I worked part-time in a store because I needed money. So I decided to work three days a week. The atmosphere was horrible, the co-workers were constantly gossiping, there was no variation. Work became a boring routine, I felt like a machine. After a month a new boss arrived. He was smaller and looking younger than me. I couldn’t cope with this and I didn’t like his way off dealing with problems. He didn’t like my direct approach so it didn’t work out. If you’re a man than act like one and don’t try to avoid what needs to be said!

I got a mini depressions as long as I worked there. Sometimes I’d happy but as soon as I started working there I went into a depressed mode. I had a lack of motivation. I felt like I was trapped in a cage just with one cause, making money.

Conclusion

Learn from all the mistakes that I made in the past and get your life back on tracks. Suddenly you’ll be a lot happier and you’ll be able to approach problems in a good way.

The black pages are written in my life, now it’s time to add color and write a success story.

Turn the page and start a new beginning on a blanc page.

Change your outcome, I believe you can do it!

I was stuck in traffic at the lots of Drama Boulevard and my life progressed at three miles per hour. But then I noticed a turn and I took it. Suddenly I’m on the highway to happiness and now my life goes 500 miles per hour.

Join me because it’s a pretty empty road.

Till next time

Alex

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