There’s a small difference between confidence and arrogance but most people don’t see it. They assume that confident people are arrogant. They also label arrogant people as the dumb ones which could be true if they’re driven by ego. Ego is your worst enemy because you’ll never be able to learn. Check out this blog post if you need to get your ego in check.
Why don’t people see the difference between confidence and arrogance?
The answer is pretty simple: most people are extremely insecure. This may sound hard to accept but there’s an easy way to prove that I’m right. Just walk in a crowded square or a crowded street. Don’t stare because you’ll look like a creep. You’ll see how many people look down when you look them straight in the eye. They’re almost all looking down because they’re lacking confidence. They all want to break eye contact as soon as possible because it’s uncomfortable for them. Those people will claim that all confident people are arrogant but that’s not true.
You’ve got it completely wrong. You’re missing the bigger picture here because there’s one thing that makes it able to spot the difference between the two. The one thing that most people fail to see. Some people just seem to have a higher self- esteem than others. They’re the alphas of the herd. They became their best- self and that’s why they’re so confident.
So what’s the difference between confidence and arrogance?
Confident people say what they’re going to do and they eventually do it. It takes time but after a while, they get small achievements and people will notice that they were right. They fail at times but they learn and get back up. They realize that fighting and life have a lot in common and keep on fighting until the bitter end.
Arrogant people start just the same but never get results. They freak out when someone points them to their weaknesses or the fact that they aren’t achieving a single thing. They are scared to death of failure. They can’t handle the thought of facing adversity (read here how I lost 15000 euros and a car. Yes I’ve faced adversity and even more than once but I learned every single time).
The arrogant people are the ones that never listen and that’s why they fail or never even start. They never listen because they’re arrogant. Most people will think you’re a joke and nobody will believe you anymore after a while. The confident people will always listen but don’t always follow what you said. Nobody ever got any better by following the herd the whole time.
How do you spot the difference?
The difference lies in the self- belief and the fact of how much they care about the opinion of other people. Some people will predict to impress others or prove others wrong. This may work in the short run but you won’t last very long. This isn’t the right motivation since these people will always want more. You’ll probably give up because you don’t care that much in the end.
I have a phrase that I use a lot: whatever I do, it won’t be for you. I divided a whole blog post to this matter but I’ll release it shortly. Most people call me a selfish jerk but they don’t get the true meaning behind it. The true meaning is that I won’t do anything to please people. I won’t get a degree because my parents want me too. I won’t date someone because my friends want me too. Why would I do a sport that my parents approve while I love MMA (they hate the sport)?
I do what I love and love what I do. I don’t give a flying fuck about your petty feelings. Why would I do something to win over a person? It’s dumb and foolish at the same time. That’s just one of the big 16 lessons which I learned in 2016.
Go from arrogant to confident and get the results
The first step is being true to you. Work towards your- best self and realize that it takes a lot of time and sacrifice. I dated one girl in 2016, I didn’t go out a lot and I lost “friends” but I made new ones as well so that doesn’t matter. It was work work work. I followed my gut feeling and it told me that I still had a lot of work to do. So that’s what I did. I read tons of self- development books and kept on working towards my best self.
The second step is being open to failure. It’s hard at first but you’ll get a hang of it. Suddenly you’ll achieve a lot more than you’ve imagined. It’s never a failure and always a lesson. Always be prepared for adversity since it’s peaking around the corner. It will hit you, we all get hit by adversity, but most people can’t handle it properly. They break because they took the wrong approach (read here how I faced adversity)
Don’t pick the wrong motivation
Be sure that you’ve got the right motivation to do something. Starting a blog to make money is no Bueno (you spot the ones who only care about the money). You won’t hold on for long since it takes a lot of time before you make money. Most bloggers give up after three months or even less. They all claim that they’re the greatest blogger there ever was. The greatest blogger doesn’t give up after 3 months. They all proclaimed that they would make money by blogging. They’ll be reminded by these claims make no mistake about that.
Arrogance will lead to punishment in the end.
Confidence will lead to results.
Both types of behavior will make sure that you get haters.
So be confident and not arrogant. In this way, you’ll be able to turn your haters into fans.
That’s what I love and that’s what I do.
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Till next time
Alex
