Ever heard of AYW? It’s short for access your why. Don’t worry I’ll explain everything. It’s kind of a way of reflecting but way easier than the stuff they shove in your throat in college or university. I had to do it back in my college days and hated it. The concept was just to complex in my opinion. I mean you have to answer twelve zillion questions to come to a simple conclusion (might be the reason why so many people hate it). Another thing that was kind of weird about it was that you didn’t have to reflect when something occurred, you could just do it whenever. Can you guess how many fantasy reflections I wrote in my time as an intern? They could become more famous than the whole Harry Potter series because they were a nice collection of fiction as well. I tried the college blueprint at the beginning that I started the self-development journey though.
I used it once and realized that it could be a lot simpler. Back then I just didn’t realize how.
Ever heard of AYW? Why you should access you why!
It forces you to answer the most difficult question that’s been asked by every four-year-old ever: “Why?” It’s easy to say “that’s why” and move on, but that doesn’t make you a better person, does it? Sometimes we have to address our emotions and ask why we feel a certain way. Sometimes you should ask yourself why you’re happy because you have to take notes during the good and bad times in life. You need to be aware of what you do wrong and right. Here’s an example: I noticed that I always felt the urgency to spend a lot of time on my phone at my normal job and after it, too. I didn’t like it, but I did it anyway. I did it until I asked myself why I did it. Turns out that I was so bored that I need other sources to entertain me. Stuff like news and social media. I started spending way less time on my phone as soon as I understood this.
Some more examples.
Example 1: In Thailand, I was pretty nervous on the day of the fight which is normal but I asked myself why because I knew what I was getting myself into. The nervousness went away when I suddenly realized that I was happy to have such an opportunity. That was at 4 in the afternoon when I was buying my steel cup because I forgot it.
Example 2: They were wrapping my hands and suddenly my trainer told me who my opponent was. He looked too big to be 70 kgs so I just looked back unimpressed because I assumed he was joking. He wasn’t but I wasn’t afraid, the nervous never came back so I started reflecting in the locker room. Don’t worry I also made a shit ton of jokes in the locker room, I was fine. The reason why I wasn’t nervous was simple. I was going to fight anyways, I already knew that a knockout was the worst thing that could happen. My confidence was peaking back then, I was there to fight. I didn’t care about his size, not even when he tried to size me up. Why? Because weight advantage doesn’t fight, I do.
AYW could improve your life big time! But how do you access you why?
Accessing you why is hard and easy at the same time. Sometimes you’ll have to question certain beliefs that you had for a long time and most people don’t want to do that. It’s like Muhammed Ali said: “A man who views the world the same at 50 as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.” It’s hard because sometimes you’ll realize that your beliefs made sure that you drifted away in life or made things harder than they should have been (more on that later).
Other times you’ll suddenly open Pandora’s box in your mind. You’ll suddenly realize that stuff from your childhood still affects you. Realizing stuff like that might be extremely uncomfortable and even confronting. Accessing you why might suck at first but it only gets better when you debunked some dumb beliefs and fixed some problems from the past. Sometimes I laugh extremely hard if I recall the things that I used to believe.
Do it fast, do it slow…
There is a time and a place for everything. I access my why almost immediately when it comes to emotions or thoughts. Because they popped up for a reason. It’s better to use the power of now and address it right away. Why did I feel like that? Why did I just think that? An easy question like that can have pretty complex answers.
But you can also do it slowly. For example: sometimes you might do something over and over again. There’s a set pattern and it’s up to you to figure out why you do it. Most people claim that they’re doomed. It’s like the guy who always dates women who’ll reject him down the line. He knows it but he still does it. Or the girl that always seems to date bad boys who treat her like shit or cheat on her. That’s no coincidence. There’s a reason why you do it. Now it’s up to you to find out why.
Make sure you on your own.
You can’t reflect while you’re surrounded by people. You can’t reflect while you’re sharing corny quotes about how sad you are on Instagram. The sooner you realize this the better. You need silence and solitude to figure things out. Go into nature, sit at a beach… Do something but don’t look for attention. Not a single problem was ever solved by seeking attention. Mostly there were just a ton of problems created by it.
Realize that perception can be an issue. But why?
People need to realize that events just are. There is no such thing as a good or a bad thing in life. Things just happen and we perceive them in a certain way depending on our mindset, past experiences and belief system. How would you otherwise explain that 2 people who went through the same shit end up completely different? That’s a different ballgame, isn’t it?! Because now you can’t act like a victim anymore. You can’t claim that bad luck is the reason why bad things keep on happening to you. Because that’s why you claimed so far. But is it really bad luck that makes sure that bad stuff keeps happening to you?! It’s you and was always. You’re just sabotaging your own life and deep down you know it but your actions are based on your past experiences so you can’t improve since you always messed up in the past.
Boom, now that’s what I call a knowledge bomb.
I’ll repeat one more time what I just said.
Let that sink in for a minute: You can’t claim that bad luck is the reason why bad things keep on happening to you. Because that’s what you claimed so far. But is it really bad luck that makes sure that bad stuff keeps happening to you?! It’s you and was always. You’re just sabotaging your own life and deep down you know it but your actions are based on your past experiences so you can’t improve since you always messed up in the past. You keep on doing it because you just don’t seem to realize that your actions in the now affect your future. So keep on repeating your actions from the past and your future will look like your past. Change your actions now and your future won’t be a replica of your past. Everybody can change but you’ll have to change habits, beliefs, and behaviors.
Why make it hard when it can be easy?!
This alone will save you a ton of time because most things aren’t worth reflecting on after a while. Some people keep doing the same thing over and over again, come up with some weird conclusion after a solid hour of reflection just to do it again one week later. That’s kind of weird right?! You want the reflection part to be hard because your whole life was hard so far. You repeat what you know and then completely dismiss the fact that I could be done easier just because it doesn’t suit your belief system. So you think life is hard and do everything to convince yourself that life is hard. Crazy right. So why is your life hard? Because you made it hard the whole fucking time!
That’s why you need to challenge your beliefs. And that’s also why you access your why. Because life will be very hard and frustrating if you never do any of those. That my friends is the subtle art of reflection.
Access your why: a coaching program.
I have a coaching program that has helped people get clarity and confidence in life. A lot of people have no clue what they want or don’t know how to start (lack clarity) or don’t have the confidence to pursue what they want. I’m here to help you write your comeback story. So it’s time to start right now! It’s time that you stop being miserable. Your dream life can be one call away from happening. So are you a young man who’s looking to turn his life around? Do you want to get on a date with faith?!
You can either contact me via mail if you’ve questions about the coaching program (click here to contact me) or you can schedule a Skype call to see if you’re a great fit for the coaching program (click here to schedule a skype call).
Check Out My Latest Book!
I released a book on Amazon while I stayed here in Thailand. It’s called “The Year Of The Alpha: 366 Lessons On Adding Meaning To Your Life” and this post was a chapter from the book (just a little more extended).
The book contains 366 life lessons that I learned over 3 years and people who read it loved it. Just look at these reviews.
The Year of the Alpha is filled with vast and important lessons for life. They are key ideas that, once lived, will change your life forever.
Have met Alex in person and he is a free spirit with a hard work ethic! His life tips are no BS and hit straight to the core!
This is a book to call you out when you know you need improvement. It doesn’t bother with trivial things it gets right i the heart of the matter and if you want to change this book is the read for you.
A very clear, grounded, no-nonsense book on living a more healthy and conscious life. An easily digestible introduction for those starting out, and a helpful refresher for those already on the path. You’ll learn from this and you’ll use it.
You can buy the book here. It’s available on Kindle and paperback.
My first book, discounts, social media and more.
Don’t forget to check out my first book. The ones who read it liked it.
Get a free audiobook and a 30-day trial
It’s now possible to follow me on Patreon as well. It’s a place where you can support me for all the free content that I share.
You can also follow me on Snapchat/Instagram for a look behind the scenes. My username is alexdw92
Till next time
Alex
