Amor fati. I’m pretty sure that a lot of people have tattooed this proverb somewhere on their body without knowing the real meaning. It means that you should love/embrace your faith. You have to love the inevitable. But what is the inevitable? That’s a hard question, right? It’s a hard question because most of us think very ego-centered. Even I do/did it sometimes, although I have it more under control lately. It’s hard to envision that you fail at something but it hurts double as hard if you’re not prepared for it. Because now you’ve got to learn a lesson and overcome a shitty feeling. This wouldn’t have happened if you were prepared for it. So this basically means that you should acknowledge the fact that you can fail or that you’ll have to face things that you deep down inside don’t want to face.
It’s hard to understand so I’ll give you an example out of my personal life.
Amor fati: gotta love faith, even if it tests you.
I once got rejected 1 hour before a date. I wasn’t prepared for it but I can guarantee you that it sucked. It’s not that I complained about it but I have to admit that it affected my mood big time. I had a pretty busy schedule back then so I didn’t really have time to sit down and think about it. But I know what I did “wrong”. I couldn’t overcome the obstacle because I wasn’t prepared for the obstacle but also because deep down I was pissed about the obstacle. So I sat in front of it instead of trying to go around it. Nothing get’s solved this way. I eventually got over it but I learned tons of valuable lessons.
The first one was that I was caught by surprise and that I should have been better prepared. People are unpredictable so this can happen. But the second lesson is a lot better: I eventually saw the beauty in the obstacle. I got a lot better out of it. This was also the start of the 30-day blogging challenge and I decided to travel to Stockholm on my own as soon as I had passed this obstacle. That trip was the best experience of my life, hands down.
That’s why I write when I’ve got to deal with shit. I’m back to my senses by the time that I’m all written out
Amor fati: gotta love faith, even if it tests you.
So what changed? My perspective on the obstacle changed. That’s the only thing that changed. It’s easy to get caught up in emotions and label the whole things as a waste of time or I could make the most out of it (ask myself what I learned from this experience). I mean why do you think that I didn’t see the 30-day challenge as a challenge? Because I was so caught up in my emotions that I had tons of stuff to write about. That’s the secret if you would want to label it.
I victimized myself like most people do. I was like “why is this happening to me” instead of “Amor fati, let’s learn some new life lessons here.”. So what did we learn here?
Well, it’s like Marcus Aurelius once said: “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.”
Or as Rickson Gracies once said: “I don’t go with the flow. I flow with the go.”
Amor fati: gotta love faith, even if it tests you.
So that’s basically it. Suddenly you learn that the obstacle is the way. You can try to walk away from it but it’ll occur over and over again until you learn a lesson. You don’t get it, do you? Look at it this way: imagine that you’re playing a video game and you come to a point where you make a mistake and you die. You respawn and die again at that same spot because you keep on making the same mistake. Would be frustrating after a while, wouldn’t it? That how most people approach life, the only difference is that they don’t die. They just get more and more frustrated.
So change the approach instead of getting all caught up in your emotions. This might sound corny but shit happens so get over it (literally, get over the obstacle).
You’ll need to get over it one way or the other. Nobody ever got better by worrying about something. It can make your life miserable.
The power of assumption.
We make assumptions as soon as we face a negative feeling. I know that I did this a lot in the past and I’ve seen a lot of people do it. The problem is that we soon treat these assumptions as fact. But there’s a big difference between the two. You need to stop making assumptions as soon as you notice that you’re doing it. It’ll make sure that you don’t end up miserable and wasting time on stuff that you’ll never know for sure. Even other people can make assumptions in your place but treat them as facts. They’ll be like “this has happened for sure bro”. In reality, they’ve got absolutely no clue what happened.
This is dangerous as well because this person might unwillingly drop a little bit of poison in your mind. You’ll get caught up in it and be miserable.
I can’t believe how many couples have fallen into this pattern. Their arguments were mostly about assumptions about one another. Shit didn’t turn out well for most of them.
You don’t want to get stuck in your own web of assumptions. Make sure that you get the facts and work from there.
Amor fati: gotta love faith, even if it tests you.
There’s been a lot of talks behind my back lately. I don’t care about those talks, to be honest, but now these talks aren’t only about me. The people who talk crap behind my back trying to talk crap about people that I like as well. It started with something small but now it’s getting bigger and bigger. So I could get all caught up in it and try to defend me and the others all the time but it’s just a waste of time. I let the people talk. They seem to enjoy it so I let them be. There’s no need to play their games. I’ll call them out on their bullshit when they try to do it straight into my face.
What can I say? So many people run their mouths behind peoples backs. I don’t give them my energy so the talks will stop. I wish those people nothing but the best. Constantly talking behind other people’s back means that you’re not particularly happy if you ask me.
Amor fati: gotta love faith, even if it tests you.
The Amor fati mindset is nothing new. It’s basic Stoicism (an ancient Greek philosophy). This philosophy will make sure that you’ve got a better overall grip on your life because you split things up into two categories. You just ask one simple question when an obstacle arises.
“Can I control the situation?”
Can you control it? That means that you’ll have to take control.
Can’t control it? This means that you’ll have to accept it and move on.
That’s it.
Amor fati.
Love your faith because you’ll have to face it even if you don’t love it.
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Alex
