Fighting is one of the most beautiful sports in the world, at least in my opinion. Not everybody agrees on this one but a lot of people also just don’t understand fighting. They see it as punchers sports. The reality is that fighting is a thinking man’s sport. Just think about it, you have 15- 25 minutes to figure another person out and they try to do the same. It’s like a high-speed game of chess but the consequences can just hurt a little more. It’s a lot of fun and it’s so peaceful inside of the ring. Here are some of the lessons that I learned through fighting.
You can only be peaceful if you know how to be violent.
People don’t seem to understand this but fighters are mostly the most peaceful people because they understand the consequences of fighting and what they’re capable of. The people who fight in the streets are mostly unskilled and stupid. They think they can fight but in reality, they can’t. I’ve seen multiple street fighters come into the gym and never make it to a second session. It’s a huge reality check for them. Also fighting in the street is dangerous since there are no rules and there might be multiple people.
Being able to fight is a good skill to have though. I know I can protect myself if I need too and that is a valuable skill to have.
Everybody should try fighting at least once.
People always ask me what I would be if I wasn’t fighting. “Less tired” is what I always say. Going through a fight camp will teach you a lot about yourself. The daily grind will wear you out. The one thing that you’ll realize is that you won’t have time for a lot of the drama that is present most people’s lives. Life is a lot more peaceful which is kind of the opposite of what most people expect.
You can’t hide who you are when you’re fighting.
A lot of people step into the ring not knowing who they are. You’ll quickly find out who you are when you start getting hit since you rely on basic instincts. You rely on the fight or flight instincts. Most people like to project a tough image (mean face, covered in tattoos,… you know the drill). Looks can be very deceiving. The most dangerous fighters mostly don’t look like fighters.
Over time I’ve seen people quit when they got cut by an elbow, quit when they got hit once and so on. You can’t hide in there and for some people that is a painful reality check but that might be a much-needed reality check.
The point where you want to quit and should quit are far apart.
Thais like to finish farangs (Thai for foreigner) with leg kicks, something that my opponent in the first fight tried as well. He kicked the shit out of my legs and in the third round, I felt the pain for the first time in the fight. I remember thinking that I was close to getting finished but won the fight in the end because I was determined to win. I just pushed through and got kicked a couple more times on that leg before I finished him. After the fight, a lot of people came up to me wondering how I survived all those leg kicks. The reality is that I didn’t want to quit and just endured. I also realized that adrenaline is one hell of a drug. After the fight, I couldn’t walk for a week but it was well worth it.
So many people stop when they should push through. It’s pretty sad, to be honest. You’re capable of a lot more than you think. You just stop way too soon. Just think about all the times you’ve could have given more in all your aspects of life. You’ll be surprised at how many times you gave up way too easily.
Feelings lie, learn to conquer them.
I’ll never forget the day I had my second fight. Fight day is normally pretty smooth for me, I just chill and wait until it’s fight time. That day wasn’t that different until I woke up with a stomach ache after a nap. Living in Thailand for a while made me fear the worst. I assumed I had food poisoning. After a while, I figured out that I wasn’t food poisoning but a performance anxiety attack, something that I had never faced before. I decided to fix this after almost puking because this wasn’t fun at all.
The thing that I learned that day is that feelings can mess you up. I went from having performance anxiety and almost puking to feeling excited in an hour. I just asked myself why I felt like this and changed the whole perspective on the situation which eventually changed how I felt.
Most people rely way too much on emotions in life, they then do dumb things and regret them later as soon as they’ve calmed down. Or they do things when they feel like them and then wonder why they’re never successful. I don’t always feel like doing what I have to do but I do it anyway. This is what you signed up for so show up whether you like it or not. This applies to every aspect of your life.
Get comfortable being uncomfortable.
The first time I fought I kind of predicted how I would feel on fight day, going into the ring and so on but I never predicted how I would feel when I was fighting. There is something weird the first time you get hit. It’s kind of a reality check that you’re in a fight. It’s also worth noting that I fought a bigger more experienced guy in my first fight. I had 0 fights and he had around 108 fights. He knew I didn’t have a lot of experience so he went hard from the start.
All of my opponents had over 100 fights so far. They’re way more comfortable in the ring than me but I’m evening out the field. I’m getting more and more comfortable in there.
This also applies to life, I’m very calm when the chaos starts around me just because I’m used to it now. Fighting is nothing more than chaos according to an MMA coach. I guess I kind of have to agree there.
Fighting is high-level problem-solving.
I mentioned before that fighting is a thinking sport. This might get a little technical but bear with me this is an important part. In round one, you have to figure out the tendencies of your opponent while he tries to do the same. This is the round where you start setting up traps for the later rounds. For example, you hit the body a lot to create an opening up top. But sometimes you have to be aware that your opponent might counter what you’re trying to set up. See how complex it gets?! The crazy thing about all of this is that you don’t think when you’re in the ring. It’s all instinct.
This comes in handy when you’re facing obstacles in life. I solve problems way faster because I’ve been fighting. So many people freeze when they have to deal with an issue at the moment because they rely too much on thinking. Sometimes it’s better to rely on instinct and shut off that monkey brain. It’s a useful skill but a skill that not a lot of people master.
Why did I do this… and this… and this…
One of my Thai trainers has a frequently used phrase that goes like “why you do this”. That mostly indicates that you did something wrong. You’ll do a lot of stuff wrong when you fight. A lot goes out the window because you’re not comfortable in the ring. Mostly you get away with mistakes but sometimes you’ll make a tiny mistake and end up going to sleep. After a fight, you have to reflect and study the tape to see where you have to improve.
This applies to life as well. I see so many people make the same mistakes over and over again. It’s like they never learn anything, which is kind of odd to me. It’s like I said in my last book: suffering is a choice. People who do the same thing over and over again choose to be miserable and then blame life. Learn from your mistakes and you’ll notice that your life will drastically improve over time
Focus on what you did right and next time might be “good night”.
People who win never rewatch their fights or they rewatch them but don’t focus on what they can improve. Why would they anyway?! They won. The reality is that you’ll make a lot of mistakes. Neglecting what you did wrong will bite you in the ass in the long run.
This is an approach that a lot of people take in life as well. They always talk about what they did wrong but never about what they did right. Can you guess where it all goes wrong?!
You can endure more if you love what you do.
I’m kind of blessed in a way that I found out what I really love in life. Well, fighting found me. During this whole journey, I’ve seen the highest highs and the lowest lows. It wasn’t always easy because you have to deal with a lot of stuff other people never have to deal with. Living an unconventional lifestyle makes sure that a lot of people don’ understand what you’re going through. But it was all worth it if I’m honest. Even the points where I hit my lowest lows.
This is why I always advise people to follow their dreams aka doing what they love. In this way, you at least endure with meaning. Imagine hating your job and having to deal with all that shit around it. That’s not a fun life. I can imagine that you won’t have a lot of highs and a lot of lows.
Bonus: “Life is short”.
A 92- year old once told me “life is short”. It was weird to hear that from someone who had been alive for so long but later on, I understood the lesson. Life really is short and most people don’t seem to realize this. Time flies by and everything will end at one point. I won’t fight forever, won’t live forever and neither will you. So this is kind of a reality check to live a meaningful life.
So many people are in the pursuit of meaninglessness because they live lives without meaning. They just drift around not knowing where they’re going. Maybe it’s time to ask yourself what you really want. I mean life is short and you must have dreams and aspirations. What if you started acting on those?
This whole corona crisis has shown a lot of people that their needs are actually wants. So I’m asking you right now.
What do you need to live a fulfilled life? What do you need to live a life that’s worth living?
Stuff to think about.
Don’t forget to buy my latest book: “The Year Of The Alpha: 366 Lessons On Adding Meaning To Your Life! It’ll take your life from Zero To Alpha. (you can buy it here)
Till next time
Alex
