Did someone disappoint you or did you disappoint yourself? Well that’s a hard question to start a blog with. The answer might be even harder to process. You might get a big reality check over here. But that’s what this blog is all about. I just share the lessons that I learn throughout my life. So I was once just like you. I was like “ow shit I didn’t see that one coming.” Let me answer the question right away: it wasn’t someone else. You disappointed yourself but you project that feeling onto the other person to make sure that you feel better. You prefer to stay in your comfort zone instead of facing reality like you should.
The sad part is that you’re probably coming up with excuses already. Guess what, excuses will make sure that you never grow. Those excuses make sure that you lose the battle against your worst opponent in life. Go stand in front of the mirror and you’ll see who your worst opponent actually is. Well that’s big reality check isn’t it? I’ve got another one for you. The fact that you disappoint yourself is an ego related thing. That’s right; the ego is one of your worst enemies.
Alex, did I really disappoint myself?
Yes you did! You see people have certain expectations about thing. Stuff like a job, parties, presents, dating, life in general. Just look at how many people feel cheated by life when they’re in their mid- 40’s. They all had certain expectations and suddenly realize that they were all wrong. But they can’t handle the truth and blame life instead of their own actions. Life didn’t make your decisions. You did! So you’re the one to blame. You really did disappoint yourself on this one. That happens when you never question your beliefs. You have a certain perception on reality and that when you set certain expectations. But are you sure that you’ve got the right perception?
Do you even know where your perception comes from? I had a whole different perception on the world when I was younger. So I was disappointed a lot in life because of the way that I viewed things. I just didn’t realize that I was the one to blame. Well me, my perception and I.
Can you make sure that you disappoint yourself less often?
Off course you can! It’s not that hard at all. You’ve got to realize that you could end up disappointed if you’re constantly having expectations about everything. Inform yourself before you get into a new job. I know a lot of people who’re stuck in a job that they don’t like. They’re at a point where they’re asking themselves if this is really it. You’re really setting yourself up for disappointments if you’re constantly setting high or the wrong expectations. You’re also putting a lot of pressure on yourself and most people crack under pressure. I can eat pressure for breakfast but it’s something that I had to learn. It’s all about being present in the moment.
Expectations and the fact that you did disappoint yourself.
I’m going to take dating as an example because that’s easy. Now before we go on there’s something that you’ve got to realize: you’re fucked as soon as you label something. You’re setting up expectations and you’ll probably end up disappointed. Let’s break it down. Dating is 2 people who’re meeting up hoping to meet their soulmate correct? That’s the expectation but mostly not the reality. There are so many stubborn beliefs around dating and stuff in life in general. Stuff like the fact that you have to kiss at the end of the first date (interesting tell me more). You have to do this and that. It’s all fucking bullshit.
Just meet up without expectations and you’ll never end up disappointed. I just meet up and see what happens. It’s great if we meet up again but I won’t be disappointed if it didn’t happen because there was no expectation. Get it? Life goes no matter what. I’m still healthy at the end of the day; still have my friends and family who’re healthy as well. People get upset about irrelevant stuff like dating.
Upset? Really?
So you get upset when your “date” didn’t go as expected? Wow, I really don’t want to be around you when you realize that your bike or something else has been stolen.
Expectations, disappointment and society
Spoiler alert: not everything that society tells you to do it true. Just look at the amount of people who’re extremely miserable in this day and age. A lot of people are living like this and they don’t even realize it. They’re stuck in a negative mindset and are too ignorant to admit it. Can you guess what they did? They just lived up to the expectations of others or society. Why don’t you break the rules and beat the fools? Set attainable goals in life and work towards them. You’ll have a happier and more fulfilled life. Things won’t get better by staying in the same miserable place for the rest of your life. Get out of your comfort zone and out of that place before you disappoint yourself! Things only get better when you take action.
So Alex do you never disappoint yourself?
I used to do it a lot in the past but I’m over that now. I just realized that life isn’t black and white. There will be times where you’ll progress in life and there are times where you fail, face adversity and so on. You just learn lesson from the latter and move on and that’s the hardest thing. Most people never get to a point where they learn a lesson. It’s just disappointment after dissapointment until they can’t handle it anymore. Those people get bitter in the long run. It’s sad to witness it but it’s even sadder to see that they don’t get that it’s their own fault.
Anyway, I recently had a disappointment which lead to this post. I was like “fuck I’ve should have done this instead of that”. It took me a while to figure out that I had disappointed myself but that lead to a new lesson and this blog post. That’s what I call turning shit into sugar since the feeling of disappointment was gone. I’m glad that I quickly realized that I couldn’t change the action anymore. Long story short: You can’t change the past so don’t bitch about it.
You need to learn a simple lesson
It sucks when you disappoint yourself but you have to realize that it’s all because you’ve set (unrealistic?) expectations. Or society made sure that you had unrealistic expectations. I think that it’s safe to say that we all disappointed our self at some point in time. But you’ve got to realize that you can get rid of this feeling by learning a lesson and never setting expectations again.
So do this instead of this
Work hard instead and don’t be disappointed that you didn’t get a promotion right away. You’ll get it when you deserve it. Put your pride and ego aside!
Search for a job that you really like instead of taking the first job that they offer you. It’s a recipe for disaster. I know very few people who like their first real job.
Just have a good time and see what happens instead of labeling it as a date.
Just avoid expectations in general. The people who have the highest expectations are often the one who’re facing the biggest disappointment.
Why don’t you act smart instead of setting yourself up to disappointment from the start?
Why do people set expectations? To disappoint themselves? That’s weird!
So why do people disappoint themselves? It’s easy because can’t be present in the moment. There are two options here. The first one is the fact that you think about an action in the past and regret it. You assume that you could have done better and feel disappointed. Which isn’t correct because you would have done better if you could do it.
The second one is that you’re looking forward to a future event and you hype it all up. You’re living in a fake reality (aka your fantasy) where everything is awesome before you even had the experience. So you end up disappointed when the moment finally arrives. People switch between past and future all the time and that’s why they feel depressed and anxious all the time. So learn your lessons from the past and move on. Oh and don’t think about the future. Enjoy the time in the present because you could be missing out on something great.
How do I fix this problem?
That’s what you would like to know don’t you? Well you should make sure that you’re never bored. I mean how can you even be bored in this day and age. I never feel bored and I wake up at 6 and go to bed at 11. I just blog, study video, read, blog, meet up with friends and relax from time to time. That’s it.
Sounds great Alex but what if you’ve got a problem that you’ve got to fix. Well I mostly learn my lesson right away but in other cases I write about it. I reflect on things and learn new things. This blog is a result from it. I just learned new stuff as I was writing this one. It’s fun since I’m getting smarter while I write. Now that’s what I call time well spend.
I lost the feeling of disappointment and now it’s time to lose yours.
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Till next time
Alex
